This should be the end! in Mr. Officer

Mr. Officer, you have changed me and now i am not sure if its for the good. You tell me that i need to change my life and that US having a little “fun” is good. I think i have lost more of myself in the past 8 years because of the “fun” that we choose to have. I could blame you and say this is all your fault and that you have ruined my life and my marriage but in all honesty, I have done ruined my own life, I am messing up my marriage even though he doesn’t know it i’m sure he can feel it though. Maybe i need to move on in life instead of hanging out with you and having “fun”. Nothing that we did can be undone, but i feel like maybe i need to move on because your dragging me down. Im sorry that i am not strong enough to turn down a good time, because i feel this agonizing pain in my gut. The worst of all this is that you know how hard all this is for me because i have told you several times, that you will be the undoing of me. Even after writing all of this i still find my self unsure if i want to let you go, i know i need to and i should but why, why can’t i see the light at the end of the tunnel?