Like titanic...slowly but sure......... in Expressive blog

Love is the best feeling ever and the worst too especially when its not a mutual feeling between to significant others.
I never knew what love is till l meant this adorable,smart,kind with the cutest smile boy…wish you could see him smile its amazing for sure. Was it love at first sight?nope,its something that grew to be so much more than l think cause l can literally do anything for him without thinking twice(you can call me stupid if you want to, but that’s how l exactly feel, like jumping in front of a bullet for him. HHAHAAHAA.
I love everything about him how he smiles every part of his body l wouldn’t change that dark chocolate for anything. I remember when l meant him more like when our relationship was new l used to hate like how he snores while asleep but now l at night l love that snoring sound from him, its my security that assures me he is still there. When we cuddle in that position l swear in my whole life that the best feeling like ever l feel safe l feeling happy l feel a lot of mixed feelings that l never wanted to trade for anything like never ever. Probably maybe its cause its my first time having rather feeling this type of way.God,l really do love him badly want him and us for infinity. But its not happening of late everything is so messed up, its like he doesn’t love me its like everything is sinking like titanic,slowly yet sure. I want to save our ship cause l don’t want to let go yet but l don’t have the strength cause am holding the ship alone and its heavy and am scared if its sinks l will drown for sure cause l don’t know how to swim back. Part of me tells me to hold on cause nothing comes easily to get what you want you got to fight for it but the other part its like girl, wake up and open your eyes!. At times he treats me like crap hurts me so badly but doesn’t give a hoot. I find myself apologizing even when clearly his the one who has hurt me…l cry a lot to myself when am alone, wondering where he is cause he didn’t come home…Am kind of sure he is cheating but am scared of moving maybe its a phrase…hahaha..that’s me trying to console my self while l kind of clearly know the truth but yet not losing hope its like am paralyzed l want to walk so badly but l cant..in short am in a relationship alone and in love alone. Just three month ago l was in a really good space was really excited l feeling loved and gave back love in return but now everything is so different Am confused.
I hate the fact l look needy desperate and miserable…to worsen everything l know it all but still l continue looking like this..........