Sonia 6/10/2002
Sonia, my old best friend called me up from out of the blue about two weeks ago. I had been calling her since I got home from school. She didn't return phone calls for a few weeks, so I assumed she was mad at me for some reason, her family wasn't giving her the messages, or she was just busy. It turned out to be the third reason. She and I have had the weirdest friendship. We met in ninth grade, in an art class where we knew no-one else. We both were dating our first boyfriends at the time, and both relationships ended miserably. She was the one person where I could just be upset and cry, and she would just understand. No words were needed.
Sonia and I used to be really close, but we've been drifting. The fact that we're even friends is surprising because we're so different. I grew up with a very stable immediate family, devoted parents (despite their our fighting), etc. Sonia's dad was thrown out of the house when she was little due to sexual abuse and drugs. Nice huh? Her mother is a recovering alcoholic. The mother never did anything to me, but she got drunk several times when I was over at Sonia's house. I made up some stories to my mother to explain why Sonia's mom couldn't carpool or take me home. Ironically, Sonia's mother was giving Sonia driving lessons while she was absolutely wasted. I sat in the back not knowing what to do, and Sonia just kept driving, not replying to her mother.
Anyway, Sonia, me, and our group of friends all were in the top 5-10% of our graduating class. Despite all the crap in her life, Sonia did amazingly well in school. Better than me. I've always had enormous amounts of respect for her. Around eleventh grade, Sonia just stopped trying. She stopped going to AP American History and bombed the AP test because she just didn't want to study. In twelfth grade she took the easiest courses possible and graduated a semester early. She hated being in her house, and wanted to get out of her town. The plan was that she'd graduate early and go to Florida Institute of Technology to double major in business and computer science. We threw her a going away party and everything. The school paid for almost all the tuition, room and board. I think she had to pay 3k a year, some of which she could've taken out in loans. Two weeks before she was suposed to leave, Sonia called me late one night and informed me that she wasn't going to go after all.
She didn't do anything that spring semester. She had left h.s., wasn't working, and didn't keep in touch with anyone with the exception of me occaisonally. Her only reason for not going was "It just didn't feel right."
During the summer, she worked constantly, and I was busy with my own job. I went off to college, and she stayed home to go to school in SUNY Stonybrook. She failed out of her first semester there because her mother had the only car and could never manage to go to class on time. She took the spring semester off, and plans to go back next year.
We both hate college, but at this point, its our only similarity. She called me during a massive thunderstorm. I was sick and had just snuggled into my bed. A huge crack of thunder woke me up so I went into my mother's bed. (To me, there's nothing better than being with a comforting person, in my case, my mother, during storm. I've already established the fact that I'm an immature dork, so keep reading :o) Anyway, Sonia told me that that night was her only night off. Her next one wouldn't be until three weeks later, so I agreed to drag myself out of bed and go out with her, her boyfriend, and her sister down Port.
I'm still deciding whether or not I like DJ, her boyfriend. He's two years older than she is, never went to college, is in and out of work, and has been living with Sonia for about a year and a half.
I was sick and asked Sonia if we could just hang out at my house instead of making me go out. Stomach viruses aren't fun, and if it was anyone but Sonia, I would've stayed in bed. Sonia said no. No reason, was given, just "No." It turns out she wanted to smoke up, and obviously couldn't do it at my house. However, she could've smoked up another time. It's just another negative change in her personality.
didn't want to smoke because A) I'm weird and can't seem to get high and B) I was sick and afraid to make it worse. Sonia and DJ kept insisting pot makes stomach viruses better, but I thought they were just joking. Becca told me the next morning its actually true. That's why cancer patients are given marijuana. Ah well...
DJ was being surprisingly charming and telling us funny stories about his stepdad. The stepdad was originally from Italy and his cure to every sickness was alcohol.
We walked along the docks and picked out the boats we would have, if we had enough money to buy one. We watched the ferry come in. It was like old times. Sonia kept telling me about her drug stories. Like when she "dropped acid" (why don't people just say "took acid?") and the trees and things started to take different forms. I love hanging out with Sonia despite everything, but she makes me want to cry. I see her becoming her mother, which is something she swore would never happen. She used to promise me and herself that she would never be like her mother and that she would get out of poverty. Its just very depressing.
I have no idea what else to say about Sonia except that she's a very complicated person and I have no idea how to deal with the situation except to watch from the sidelines.
Phobia of the Day: Ephebiphobia- Fear of teenagers
Until my next ramble
Artist
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