Later That Night... 11/17/2001
So Anthony had to drop off his sister at his house, and then he got into Erin's car with me and her and gave us directions back to his frat house. While we were following Anthony in the car on the way to his house, I TOLD Erin how much I liked him. I told her. And she said, "That's great! Just do me a favor and don't leave me alone with his frat brothers at the party." I said, "OK Erin. Definitely not. I would never leave you like that." (Remember this conversation, it'll come into play later.)
Anyway, so the three of us were talking on the way back and I was happy that he and Erin were getting along. I mean, when your friends get along with the guy you like, that's always a good sign. Anyway, he was on the phone with one of his frat brothers in the car and found out that the party had gotten raided by the police. Erin suggests that we go back to the dorm so me and her could change and then we could decide what to do.
I almost smacked Erin and then myself. She is a smart girl, but has absolutely no common sense. You never, EVER bring a strange guy back to where you live. Going to a random frat house is one thing; going back to the dorms is totally another. So we get changed and then decide to just hang out in the lounge for a little while until the sun comes up, and then we'd go eat breakfast.
When Anthony originally mentioned going to his frat party, I said I wanted to get back to the dorms around five am because I had a class the next day. The three of us were sitting in the lounge, and Anthony nudges Erin and says, "When she goes to sleep, want to go and get some breakfast?" (Ouch). I understand that I said I needed to go to sleep by 5 am, but I assumed Erin would come with me. I mean, I TOLD HER I liked him. Why would she go out to breakfast with him by herself?? So then he starts giving Erin a foot massage. He asked her to give him a back rub and she readily complied. I kind of knew what was going on, but I didn't want to believe it. Erin is supposed to be my best friend, my other half...why would she do this?
One of the girls I met in the beginning of the school year, Evelyn, walks into the lounge crying. I asked her what was wrong, and she just shook her head and went outside. (Evelyn was mentioned several times in my earlier entries. She's always very nice to me, but she never ever wants to hang out with me when I ask her to. I dunno...she's a weird chick). Anthony told me that I should go outside and talk to her. So I went outside and talked to Evelyn who was (SURPRISE!) crying over a boy. Out of the corner of my eye I see Anthony and Erin talking and laughing. I don't know, I'm thick-headed, it took me until the next morning to realize that he sent me out of there so he could be with Erin.
I came back inside and Erin told me, "You look tired. You should go to bed." I said, "No really I'm OK." (Told you I was thick-headed...) Anthony chimes in, "I think I'm going to carry you off to bed>" I'm laughing and giggling as he was trying to pick me up. I'm an ass; I thought he was trying to flirt with me. In reality, he was physically trying to remove me from the room so he could be with Erin and I was giggling like a moron, thinking he was just playing around.
Finally he says, "Erin one of my friends is coming over to meet us for breakfast. You stay in the lounge and get the door when he comes. Elissa and I are going to go and find a pay phone so I can make sure he's coming." I thought it was odd that he said that because Erin had her cell phone with her that he could have used. When we got outside, he says,"I really didn't want to find a pay phone. I just wanted to talk to you. I start smiling, thinking "This is awesome, he does like me." He says,"I have to ask you something, but you have to promise not to laugh." I laughed and said OK, and he asks,"Are you interested in me?" Normally, I would have happy that he asked that question, but there was something in his voice that made me hesitate to answer. I asked, "Why do you want to know?" and he says...........(Drum roll please) "Well, I really like your friend, and I wanted to know if that'd be a problem."
I can't even describe how I felt. I honestly can't. I just wanted to run out of Syracuse, past New York City, over the bridge, and back to my house.
I should have gotten a Grammy for my performance. Call Steven Spielberg, there's a major actress on the loose.I didn't cry,I didn't frown, and I didn't even let a silence fall in the conversation. I said, "Well, I think she likes you." So he starts asking me all these questions about what she likes, etc. I answered each question perfectly without ever having a crack in my voice. Then I said,"Oh and by the way; if you ever hurt Erin,I will kill you." I meant it, too. On top of the Emmy, give me a halo too...He swore he'd never hurt her. Which is good, because I may kill her. And he'd be next.
Anthony then says to me, "Do you mind doing us a favor and leaving? Like, when we go back inside, can you just say you're really tired and go back into your room?" At that point I so desperately wanted to cry. But I agreed, and when we both got back inside, I said exactly what he wanted me to say.
Erin offered to walk me back to my room. When we were in the hallway, she says, "Well?" I whispered, "He said he likes you." She thought I was whispering because I was worried he'd hear me. I whispered because I was terrified that I would cry any second. She clapped her hands and giggled. "Oh good!," she says. Then she asks, "You don't mind, do you?" What could I say? No, Erin, don't go out with this boy. You know I like him...But he obviously lost all interest in me once he met Erin and she likes him. So why fuck with their happiness? If I said no, she would've told Justin and Dionne, and they would have both thought of me as a bitter bitch. SO I said, "No, I don't care," and Erin jogged back down the hallway to be with Anthony.
When I got back in my room, all the little things that were happening throughout the night dawned on me that Anthony and Erin were (subtly) trying to make me go away all night. It was ironic, because I remembered me and Erin's conversation in the beginning of this entry. She was worried that I would leave her alone, and I promised that I would never do that. So instead, Erin left me.
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