Here's the Rest of It 11/17/2001
When I woke up on Friday (yesterday) I found a note on my door from Erin. Her note said that since I had erased some of her previous messages off of my message board, she knew I was mad and she wanted to talk. First off...Erin is paranoid. Sweet, (well, she used to be anyway) but horribly paranoid. If I don't give her as big of a smile as I had given her the day before, she automatically assumes I'm mad at her. If I erase one of her messages off of my board, even if its been there for two days, she thinks I'm mad at her. If I disappear in the library for a few hours to study and don't stop in her room when I get back, she thinks I'm mad at her. Almost ironically, she can't understand that by constantly going after the boys that I like pisses me off.
My other problem with Erin is that not only does she constantly assume I'm mad at her, she goes and tells other people that I'm mad at her before asking ME if I am. Like, a few days ago, I erased one of her messages off of my board. Later that day Dionne tells me that Erin told her that I was mad at Erin for no reason. (Gotta love the mature people I hang out with). So people start thinking, "God, ARTIST is a bitch because she keeps getting mad at Erin for no reason."
Anyway, the morning I wrote my previous diary entry, I wrote Erin a letter basically saying everything I've been writing here so far. I don't appreciate it when she tells people that I'm mad at her for no reason before she even asks me IF I'm mad at her. Her paranoid and melodramatic reactions to the littlest things I do pisses me off. She's a great friend, but these qualities of hers are causing a real problem. I omitted saying anything about Anthony.
Even if I had told her that I didn't want her to go with him, she would've gone anyway. Erin doesn't think like other people. If one of my friends like another guy, and then the guy asked me out, one of my first reactions would be (even if I liked the guy back) 'Well, how would going out with this guy hurt my friend?' Erin doesn't think like that. She just thinks, 'Yay, a boy asked me out.'
I spent the day in the library. My class turned out to be canceled, so I spent the day working. I needed to get out of my dorm and away from everyone.
I got back to the dorm at five, showered, and called Helen at six. I asked her if I could spend the night at her dorm. She agreed so I was out of my dorm within the hour. Erin came in for five minutes before I left. She said hi, and I said hi back. She asked me how my day was, and I told her I'd be studying. She asked me what I was doing tonight and I said I was spending the night at a friend's. She said OK and left. It's now 6:36 pm on Saturday and we haven't spoken since then.
Spending the night at Helen's was the best thing I'd done all week. We went out to dinner and then watched some mindless show called "Dark Angel" on tv. It was good though, because it took my mind off of things. After the show, when I was calm and feeling better, Helen finally asked me what was wrong. She's awesome...she knew to wait awhile before asking me, because I needed some time to just calm down and think. I told Helen everything. I burst out crying right in the lounge. She took me into her room and I cried for a good ten minutes. It felt good actually, to be with a good friend who I could talk to. Helen's reaction was awesome. She got pissed at Anthony and swore if she met him, she'd beat the crap out of him. When it comes to Helen, I wouldn't doubt it. She was just so cool about everything. She advised me to tell Erin how I was feeling. I didn't agree with the advice but at least she was trying to help. So we talked for a little more and then we studied fo a few hours. We went out to brunch around noon and I was back at my dorm by one.
Dionne came into my room this afternoon. She's one of those people who just kind of floats through life. She doesn't know what's going on, and if she did, she wouldn't get into it. Or maybe she would. She asked Erin to go to dinner with her and not me, but I don't know if that has anything to do with what's been going on.
I heard the three of them going to dinner before. Dionne nor Justin came into my room to ask me. They knew I was in there. So is this what's its going to be like? People pick sides, like in high school? Whatever. In that case, Erin's screwed, because she met Justin and Anthony because of me. See, I meet the guys and put out the effort to talk to them, and then they fall for Erin and forget me. Like I said before, once I introduced Justin to Erin, Justin's BOOM! gone. He doesn't come and visit my room any more, he doesn't really bother with me in general unless Erin's around. But if Erin doesn't have me she might actually have to (GASP!) meet boys on her own. It doesn't matter. I met Helen through Erin, and now Helen's much closer to me than she is to Erin. Erin has Anthony and Justin. In my mind, I got the better friend.
At this point, I just want to go home.
Phobia of the Day: Enissophobia- Fear of having committed an unpardonable sin
Until later
Artist
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