You guys. I heard the absolute JUICIEST gossip in the office this morning, and I simply can’t let this leak because I think it’s a fucking set-up to see who gossips around here. I’m NOT going to be the one, so I’m going to write it out here because I simply can’t keep it inside.
And here’s the thing - I never hear the gossip around here. I’m part of the leadership council, I’m a boss, I’m nose-to-the-grindstone (except to vent here), I don’t ever get the juice. So the fact that this info fell right into my lap from one of our executives is so suspicious to me.
Still, it’s dirt. I wish you guys knew who these people were. That would make it a whole lot more exciting, but just imagine that these are your co-workers, okay? Because they were mine.
So. Do you remember way back towards the beginning of the year there was a job at my company that I wanted, applied for, interviewed for, yet didn’t get. I was bummed about it, but liked the woman that they hired for the most part. She had a similar background to mine, was fairly personable and quite pretty. She was kind of cool and trendy - yet prim and proper - she dressed in pretty lace overlay dresses and she decorated her office really sweetly with white orchids and white accessories - I think you can picture it…it was kind of a purity-chic, if you can imagine that.
But she was absent a lot. I’d heard she was kind of sick. She never really seemed to get engaged when we had meetings. I tried to bring her up to speed with all of my projects. The whole company had high expectations for her because this was a brand new position that they’d created specifically for someone who could lead the product teams from a consumer insight point of view. It was a highly visible position, and she seemed to be making herself smaller and smaller right before our eyes.
Around that time, our company sold, so changes were going to be taking place within several areas, one of them was our PR and Marketing areas, and when [My] Old Boss told our PR/Marketing Sr.Manager about some changes he wanted to make, she got pissed off and threw a tantrum, I guess, and she got shit canned on the spot!
That’s when the powers that be went back to Purity-Chic and told her that she’d be taking on many of the responsibilities that PR/Mkt woman, including running our gigantic booth at the trade show we just had in Las Vegas.
Well, it appeared that this news may have threw Purity-Chic for a loop, because she got horribly thin and ghostly white around that time. Rumors flew that she was very, very sick. As in, she was about to die from some form of highly aggressive cancer or something. She was never in the office, and was too sick to even go to Vegas to attend the trade show that she was supposed to be in charge of.
I actually stepped in to help with the booth at Vegas, and hung out with her staff and tried to help make sure that things were running smoothly in her absence. Her staff said she was going to the doctor and getting all kinds of tests run to find out whether or not she was dying!
Turns out, she wasn’t. Turns out, she quit - with zero notice - leaving the whole company high and dry as we’d all bent over backwards to make sure that she and this position were a success. After all, it was the #1 Initiative of 2017!!
But the trade show went on, we all worked the convention, and some of us got awards for being so awesome (including me, for a special project that I did), and they awarded this guy the MVP award for growing his business by leaps and bounds. The guy was a virtual HERO to our company (and I always thought he was a super sweet dude - and a cutie, to boot). He’d recently asked to move back to Seattle (where he’d moved here from) so he could be closer to his major account, Amazon (naturally).
Flash forward a couple of weeks, a few more changes took place within the company. A couple of big shots quit, a few got let go, some shifting and shuffling took place, but everything seemed fairly natural, you know, the natural progression of work - especially when a company is sold, right?
But two weeks ago, an email went out. It was short and it was curt. It said that the award-winning MVP no longer worked for the company. That was all.
Shock among SHOCKS! How does the hero get fired two weeks after he wins the HERO AWARD?!
Can you see where this is going?
Of course, I never suspected this because I’m so busy getting worked up about stupid shit like actual work and presentations and getting shit done.
Seems the MVP and Purity-Chic, our two resident heroes were giving each other their own private AWARDS!! Yep!
And supposedly, aaaaallllll the evidence was on Purity’s computer! So when MVP was approached by the EVP (his boss) about his escapades, the MVP denied, denied, denied…even though everything was there - in writing!
So because of his blatant lies, he was fired.
I even think that there was a chance to save it all if he’d simply fessed up and fell on the sword, but because he flat out denied, they let the golden boy go.
Apparently, Purity’s husband found out about the affair and that’s why she was so sickly and had to quit via voice mail.
But you guys. I never saw this. I NEVER SEE ANYTHING! How do I not see these things when they are right out there in broad daylight?! Here I am thinking, oh, poor Purity…she looks so frail and innocent! When she was actually out there BONING our top sales guy!
Sheesh. And I can’t even get a date?!
I guess what makes me mad is that I really wanted that job - I wanted that position. I would have been really good at it and I would have also busted my ass for it…and then there are these people who seem to not work so hard at it and don’t seem to care as much and even go so far as to fuck around on the job? Why do things like this happen? Is this their come-uppance?
And then…wow. Imagine having to go home to your wife and kids figuring out how to explain how you just got fired after you were JUST named and awarded the company’s top honor and performer? How on earth did he explain that?
How?
So there. I feel like I got it out without telling a soul here in the office. Does it still count as gossip if I journal it? Or is it simply storytelling?
xox,
GS
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