Family Ties 10/27/2001
I think my mom is getting sick of me. Partially, I don't blame her because I haven't exactly been the epitome of happiness. However, there are just some things that go along with being a mother and being there for your children when they're in a bad mood is one of them. My parents almost never call me. I always have to be the one to call or e-mail them. When I do call them, my mom always asks me, "Did you meet any more people yet? Why can't you meet friends in your classes?" Well, Mom, my lectures are 250 people and it's almost impossible to see the same person twice. Second, I have recitation only once a week, so even if I meet a cool person there, I usually can't find them during lecture, and by the next week, they forgot the conversation we had the week before. Or maybe I'm just not a likable person. At this point, that's an extremely plausible explanation. She sighs and says, "I just don't know what to tell you any more." Thanks Mom. You could've at least said, "Feel better," or "I love you."
If I leave a message, they almost never call me back. I usually have to call again and again until I reach them.
In Syracuse, your ID card can also be used as a credit card. You have a $1000 limit and you can use this card at the restaurants on campus, the bookstore, etc. I was trying to buy some packing tape yesterday, and when the woman swiped my card, she told me that the card was denied. I know for a fact that I didn't spend $1000 or even close to it. I have all of the receipts; at the most, my card had $75 on it. The ATM's here charge crazy fees. I don't feel like losing $1.25 every time I make a withdrawal, and I don't feel like trekking down 120 steps and a mile across campus to go to the HSBC machine. My SU card is very helpful when I have to go downstairs to the book store to get a few small items and I don't have any cash on me. So I called my mom yesterday and told her what had happened. I asked to her to please call me back. I called her early in the day; she hasn't called yet. I haven't received any bills in my mailbox, so I'm assuming the bills were sent to her. I would really just like to know what's going on at this point.
It's scary because this is how my mother treats my grandmother. Whenever my grandmother calls, my mom just lets the machine pick it up. We have caller ID so it's not like she doesn't know who's calling. When my mom does pick up the phone, she always sounds like she doesn't really want to be on the phone, but she kind of has to be. She always has this resigned tone in her voice; kind of like the one she uses when she talks to me. And lately, when I call, I seem to be getting the machine a lot too. My grandmother was a really bad parent to my mom, which is why my mom resents her so much. I'll admit that I'm not the greatest kid in the world, but I don't think my mom should cut me off the way she cuts off my grandmother. I just sometimes feel like she can't be bothered any more.
I'm thinking of staying in Syracuse for Thanksgiving. I have a ton of work to do and I don't feel like going home, especially if I'm not wanted.
My sister doesn't call me either. I understand she's busy with the GRE's, but it's like she always busy with something whenever I need help. When she was a freshman in college, she would call me up all the time crying and complaining. She knows how homesick I am too. Two weekends ago, she was driving back home and didn't tell me until the last minute. The only bus to Binghamton was at 5:15 a.m. which I wasn't going to do. My sister wouldn't drive me because "it would be too much on her car." Yet, she drove six hours back to Long Island to visit her boyfriend for his birthday and drove an additional 45 minutes to Oceanside to drop off her best friend at home. Yet, she wouldn't drive an hour to pick me up. Nice, huh?
It's just I sometimes feel so lonely and I'm not quite sure what to do about it. The only thing I can seem to control in my life is my grades; I guess that's why I always put so much effort into them. Yeah...I guess I just have nothing left to say.
Phobia of the Day: Social Phobia- Fear of being evaluated negatively in social situations
Until later
Artist
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