Smurf 2/14/2001
Just a little hint--before you read, read "UPDATED: My World" entry first; it tells you who's who in my own little world.
Just as I promised, I want to vent about Smurf, an ex-best friend of mine. I have two really horrible habits: I have horrible taste in character and I trust people too easily. I tend to get hurt a lot that way. Smurf used to be a really cool kid, with really high morals, and an overall kick ass person. At the end of 11th grade, she went a little crazy. She has lots of family problems, which is part of it. Make a long stoy short, I didn't invite her to the mall with me and Panama, and she literally ended our two-year friendship. I understand she wasn't necessarily pissed at being forgotten to be invited; I think a lot of things were building up in her, and she just exploded at the nearest person. That was me, unfortunately. She also has changed alot. She used to be straight-edge. (For those of you who don't know what that is, it means that a person believes in no drinking, no drugs, and no sex till you're married.) I'm not straight-edge (If you read my previous entries, you'd understand why :o) but I totally respected her because she stuck to her values, although they were different than everyone else's. She was never afraid to be a non-conformist, which is a quality I've always wanted to have in myself.
The beginning of last summer, she began having casual sex, with both guys and girls, started to do several types of drugs, got drunk every weekend, and started to seriously slack off in school. Needless to say, I have lost all of my respect for her. She's gotten alot nicer to me now, but I kind of just blow her off. I have several vices, but I'm not a doormat. A person gets one chance with me. If they psh me far enough, and they hurt me enough, I will erase them out of my life. It sounds harsh, and it is, but there comes a time where keeping a person in your life hurts more than erasing them from your life.
And whoever said "Everyone gets theirs in the end" never had an enemy. My enemies are doing fabulous. Smurf is half Mexican, which she plays up to the hilt. She has a Mexican mother who she sees once a year and barely talks to her Mexican side of the family. She was raised in a house bigger than mine, she went to the same school, took easier classes and got lower grades, and she's being offered scholarships like crazy because she's a Mexican woman that's doing fairly well in school. So, because I'm white and Jewish, I don't get the same benefits. No offense, but it's a given that almost all Jews go onto college, and the best schools in the country have very large Jewish populations. I'm from a group of people that's expected to do well by society, so I am not as eligible for the same scholarships she is??? Smurf got a 1300 on her SAT's, and has a B+ average, yet Duke has already offered her a partial scholarship. Don't get me wrong, I'm really not a racist, I just think its wrong to base a scholarship on race. She works half as hard as I do, but she's Mexican, so that makes up for it...(note sarcastic tone) Ugghhh. It's sooo aggravating. To add insult to injury, Smurf repeatedly says, "So-and-so college offered me ANOTHER scholarship...Sometimes, being Mexican really pays off!" Shut up Smurf, just shut up. The only reason you're getting them is because of the color of your skin. I'd like to see how well she does at Duke. She has black hair, that she dyed blonde, and then purple, so her hair has black roots, with blonde patches, and the rest of her hair is faded out purple. She wears ripped fishnet stockgs, or patched up jeans, and her favorite shirt says "I Luv Satan." I dressed normally at Carnegie, and I still had problems with the snobs. GRRR. Whatever, there's nothing I can do. I feel better now that I've vented. At least I know that when I go to college and get scholarships, I deserved them.
Until later
Artist
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