Obsession with College 1/5/2001
My father always tells me that he'll pay me to do his worrying for him. That's how much I worry. I can't help it. I'm about to go off to college and my choice will affect the course of my life and career. It's a little nerve-wracking to know this. My problem is that I'm very bad with decisions. I have recently applied to seven schools and there's something I absolutely love and something I absolutely detest about every school. Because I'm interested in two very diverse fields, art and science, it's very hard for me to find a school that is strong in both areas. Most of my schools have very strong science porgrams, but have a non-existent/weak art programs, or vice versa. There are two schools that are strong in art and science but there are problems with these schools as well. School A is upstate and is buried in snow for nine months out of the year. (I hate the cold). However, it is the only school in the United States that offers medical illustration as a major. Medical illustration, to me, is the best career because it mixes art and science, and it pays well. Also, you have to draw realistically. (I hate abstract art and I can barely stand surrealism). However, this school lacks a social life because its a tech institute. I e-mailed about 40 different kids who went to the school and they were all in consensus in this area. I worked so hard in high school because my mother always told me that there is always time to party in college. She told me that first I should work to get into a good school, and then I could work hard and party hard. So if I go to school A, once again, I'll be working 24/7. In college, I want to be different; I want to party, I want to do things I've never done before...Also, the school is 11 hours from where I live, which is a major problem because I get very homesick. I went away to a summer program last summer which was 11 hours away from my home and I spent the six weeks there crying. (Pathetic, right?) The school is 75% male, which bothers me. Why would a guy go to a school that's 75% male unless he was either gay or a hermit? Now, I have nothing against homosexual men, but it makes it very hard for a hetero girl, if you know what I mean. Paradoxically, I'm very intimidated by guys and I have a phobia of sex, which would be a problem in a school that's 3/4 male.
School B, which is also strong in science and art, also has its share of problems. It's closer to home, it's warmer,it definitely has a social life and it's a good school. There is a very high crime rate at this school though. There have been an extremely large number of rapes and muggings. Most of the rapes have occurred inside the dorms, which is the scariest part. Also, because it is a large school, there are serious problems with registering for classes. Many times, the people who go there are not given the classes they need, which accounts for the 33% four-year graduation rate.
I know all of this sounds pretty retarded, but it's something that's very important to me. All of my other schools are good, but if I go to one of them, I have to choose between science and art which is another decision that I'm afraid to make. I love both. Well, I love art more, but science is a much more stable field than art and I have a better chance of making more money if I go into science. I know this sounds greedy, but I want all of my work to pay off. Well, I'm finished rambling for now. Until my next entry
artist
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