Well here I am.
And very grateful to the 2 ODers who sent me Facebook messages letting me know of the imminent demise of OD which, although not entirely unexpected, still came as a shock. I would have probably seen it before the final day as I’ve been doing private entries in there quite a lot but I’d been falling behind with that because of starting my new job and the couple of times I’d gone in recently it was playing up so I’d been writing them in WORD instead ready for transfer at a later date. Could’ve missed the boat there.
Although I very much appreciate this place exists I’m not keen on the layout so far but I realise it’s a work in progress and will probably evolve just as OD did. I’m having problems formatting though - none of my formatting buttons seem to be working - do I need something different than just click on them? When I do all that seems to happen is I get a shaded background but can’t change anything. Also I can’t find a facility for asking a Help question? I just see specific entries for specific things in the Help books but nowhere to ask anything - am I not looking hard enough?
So - 2014 is bringing a few new things to get used to and get my head round.
New bloggy place which I hope to be writing publicly in a lot more than my OD efforts recently.
New job which is a bit stressful at the moment as every new job is at the start but which will no doubt settle down in time.
New course which might be happening in March for 2 days a week lasting 5 weeks but will depend on being able to change my working days because it clashes.
New name which doesn’t mean anything exciting is happening - just that I’m trying to revert back to my maiden name. I thought this would be complicated but my sister who’s already done it said ‘och no it wasn’t any hassle’ and I believed her. Ha! I should go with my first instincts that’s all I’m saying ......
New systems - the job involves quite a few different systems than the ones I’ve been working with so it feels like there’s a lot to take in just now - I don’t know if it’s something about getting older or just my current state but it kinda feels like my brain isn’t too keen on all this new information whereas 10 years ago I would have welcomed it. I did some training in Mailchimp today and had to get used to a whole new language involving segments, hard bounces, soft bounces, chimp rewards, double opt-ins, autoresponders, campaigns and floats to name but a few. It all looked rather wonderful with many bells and whistles and I’m looking forward to trying it out, the only problem being that I’m not back at work until Monday so the likelihood of any of it remaining in my brain until then is decidedly iffy!
New health state - well it’s not entirely new but I suppose it’s my first year completely codeine free although that’s a lie because I had a relapse a fortnight ago after 3 months! However strangely it turned out a more positive experience than I expected and it was almost as if it had to happen to completely shut that door whereas before it sort of felt like it was still ajar, ready to tempt at any moment. Anyway hopefully the REST of the year will be codeine free and eventually I’ll start to feel better. I’m still really struggling with low mood and most days feel like I’ve just had a steamroller run over me so my mission this year is to try and get to the bottom of this once and for all and get my mojo back!
Interestingly recently I was looking for spare polypockets for work and knew I had some in my own folders at home which I probably didn’t need any more - ones I’d used for coursework and suchlike which were useful at the time but the contents could now be stapled instead. I came across my Open University folder and in the course of taking out the stuff in the folders I glanced at the top sheets. It was honestly like the stuff in there had been written by someone else. Similarly there were some in my CRUSE Bereavement Counselling course folder and that felt exactly the same. Looking through what I’d written was like it was someone else’s material not mine. I don’t mean that in the sense that I was high or anything while undertaking these courses - I’ve never taken any substance to get high in my life - only to feel normal - but I just mean the way I feel about myself right now, it doesn’t seem possible that I could produce stuff like that.
Anyway I’m on the case and expect to be feeling a hell of a lot better this time next year - if not I’ll have A LOT to say about it!
Ok that’s enough for now until I figure out how to use the site - I’ll hopefully expand on some of these things above as I write more but I didn’t want to write one of my long, rambly entries for the first page. No doubt that’ll change soon enough!
I’ve missed you guys. It’s nice to be back.

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