I saw this line in something I read today, and it made me think….and think some more.
Remember, the people who annoy us most can also be our greatest teachers. What can you learn from them?
Hmmmm. Let’s see…
Negative C: She may be negative, but she’s pretty calm, cool and collected. She’s methodical. She’s precise. She’s correct. She does AMAZING and thorough work. What can I learn from Neg. C? Patience. Whenever we interact, I know that I have to stop whatever I’m doing (or make time to have an appointment with her) because I know it’s going to be a loooooonnngg and sometimes torturous conversation. What can I do to make these situations become less difficult? Yes, that patience thing. And I can also ask her to provide suggestions on how to alleviate the negative issues. Truly, she’s not as horrible as I make her out to be – but she’s definitely negative. Through all of the leadership training I’ve had, I should really start calling her Devil’s Advocate C. It’s true, she does alert me to things that could go wrong… I just wish she didn’t necessarily wave the red flag at EVERY possible outcome. That’s paralysis.
So yeah, patience and praise for when she comes up with a good, quick solution!
Brother: While he may be a weirdo…and there’s really nothing necessarily wrong with that, he still drives me up the wall. Why? I’ve said it before, my worry is that he takes advantage of my parents. What can I learn from this situation? Well, it could be that my parents actually WANT him and his family to take advantage. I mean, eh, why not? My parents are getting up there, they are retired, and I know they don’t want to even try to leave an inheritance after they’re gone, so why NOT give it all away to your son, his wife and their grandbaby? If that’s what they want to do, who am I to say? I’ve never heard my parents complain about feeling taken advantage of (for the most part) so…
The other thing I’ve learned from him while watching him interact with his wife is that he is a loving man. He looks at his wife with the expression of pure caring and wonder and friendship and…all of this glorious stuff rolled into one! He is soft and gentle with her (and only her! He is normally crazy clumsy!). He truly, truly loves her.
That learning is one of hope. There is definitely someone for everyone.
Boss: Well, ask me again after my meeting this afternoon, but I think I can learn the fine art of looking like a hero. Now. He does this in a manner that is very frustrating for everyone around him, but practiced correctly, delegation is an amazing thing! The thing with Boss is that he absolutely knows how to make people feel good. A salesman at heart, the guy has the gift of gab and executes it in such a way that you tell him to his face that you’ll be thrilled to do that whatever thing and when you get back to your desk you’re like, WTF did I just agree to do?
But the bottom line is, he gets shit done. And he makes it look easy. And he makes you feel happy while you’re around him.
I’d really like to at least look happy while I’m getting shit done!
Brown Nosey: I truly think her heart is in the right place – it’s just that her self-esteem is so, so low/non-existent that she wants to bring everyone else around her down so that she can think she’s making herself look good. What can I learn…what can I learn? Hmmmmmm.
I suppose I can learn that I need to make sure that I don’t do the things that she does? And I can try not to look like an asshole while I’m not doing those things? I don’t know.
And the really bad thing is that she’s my peer – I really, really want to like her so that I can have an ally in this silly thing we do for work. It just feels like she stabs me in the back every time I’ve tried.
So yeah – I can learn NOT to be a Brown Nosey by NOT doing what she does.
All the Men Who Never Call Back: What can I learn? They’re not worth my energy. Not one ounce. Not one second. If they don’t call back, write back, come back, smile back…no biggie. It’s not me. I know this deep down. I just need to remember this. And LEARN this.
xox,
GS
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