So... I haven't had sex in, well, I'm not going to say. I'd have stop and figure it out and if I did that it'd probably be a really depressing number. It's been a long time. Like, *years *long time. I feel like a failure as a gay. Aren't I supposed to be having threesomes in truck stops every Tuesday night or something similarly seedy?
Honestly, I don't do hook ups. Well, I did once and never did it again. I have no problem with one night stands, but I was never comfortable with getting a stranger's address on-line and going to pound out the veal. I don't know. With grad school I just didn't really have time to go out and meet anyone. Most gay dating sites or apps are just places to do just that. I downloaded one such app. I talked to some people, but I was never that interested to meeting up with anyone.
Someone messaged me on the the app like a week ago. This person was very attractive and I was very interested. The person was very much out of my league looks-wise (#lowselfconfidence) so I was kind of confused as to why they were messaging me. We exchanged messages for a while and eventually phone numbers. We texted and talked on the phone a bit. The texts were a mix of normal conversation as well as some dirty stuff.
I went over there Monday night. He invited me over to his house so I pretty much figured it was a fuck date. It was a little awkward at first, but I got comfortable after talking to him for a while (and three beers). Eventually we end up fooling around and then then doing it. Immediately after it was like a switch flicked with him. He wasn't rude and didn't say anything, but the non-verbal cues were definitely saying, "Leave now."
So he texted me when I got home and I felt better. I had a good time with him, conversation and everything. Since then he's just been very distant. He doesn't text as often, his answers are short, he's not nearly as flirty, and hasn't been interested in talking on phone. Which is fine. I just don't like being in limbo. The next day I straight up asked him if it was a one time thing or he wanted to hang out again. I figured this was a perfect out. He said he was hoping to hang out again. He's certainly not acting like it.
Who knows? I guess he was really nice until I fucked him and then wouldn't mind having me on the back burner. He just seemed very relationship-centric before he met me. Just be interested or not and let me know. Not even sure if I'd hang out again if he wanted to. Or if I did I guess I just need to understand it's just a sex thing. Of course, if I would have known that from the beginning I don't know if I would've been interested.. Or at least I would've known what he wanted and what I was or wasn't getting into.
In other news, I found out I made it to the second round for a job I want. It's for an anime distributor. They put out anime and Japanese movie boxed sets and DVDs. I'd be authoring DVDs, writing copy and designing the boxes, and a bunch of other fun production stuff. This side of screenwriting, it's like my dream job. I had applied a few weeks ago. They sent me an e-mail last week saying I made it into the second round and sent me a giant packet to fill out. It was proofreading and a bunch of super nerdy questions about anime terms. I also had to write sample copy for different shows and analyze the subtitles for a series.
I sent that in on Sunday. The only downside is that it's in Iowa, which is about a 9 hour drive from Toledo. Honestly, I'm ready to get out of town. It'd suck leaving friends and family, but I don't really have anything hardcore tethering me here. And it's not like I couldn't move back if I hated it. A lot will depend on the salary. I'm hoping to hear something back this week. I really want the job, though. It's time to move on, I suppose.
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