… back in my favourite and most constant obsession.
Let us begin with the facts.
Fact 1 - I will win the lottery.
This is an indisputable fact.
For your own safety, don’t try to dissuade me.
Don’t use logic or cite rules of probability.
Do that and it’s quite probable I will get violent all over your logical ass.
Put another way,
mess with my dreams and I mess with your face.
(Obsessions aren’t afraid of defending themselves.)
Fact 2 -
Those who come into great wealth and do not plan wisely,
more often than not lose it all.
That is absolutely true
and absolutely avoidable.
As I know ahead of time that I will be coming into massive wealth
and I have nothing better to do with my time,
you can bet your glutei maximi that
I have plans,
.Intricate.
..Excessive..
…Obsessive…
PLANS.
Obviously, the plan starts with a first step.
Even more obviously the first step is
I must buy lottery tickets.
Yes, but how?
There are others who are as obsessed as I with winning the lottery.
(Though few outside of state-run institutions are more obsessed.)
They are convinced, as I am, that they will win the lottery.
Who am I to say that they are wrong?
Some of those people, however, are exactly the sort who,
were they to win, would proceed to lose it all at breakneck speed.
They prove that they couldn’t handle a great deal of money
by squandering the little that they already have.
People who spend too much on the lottery on a regular basis
are foolish.
Even I know that the odds of winning are astronomically against
any one specific person winning
(except for me, of course).
For the powerball draw, one ticket gives you
a one in a roughly a quarter of a billion chance of winning.
Yes, them’s pretty slim chances
(unless you are predestined to win, as I am).
So what increases your chances?
Some people think buying more tickets is the answer.
Buying ten tickets makes it ten times more likely you will win.
True, but…
Ten in roughtly a quarter of a billion chance of winning
is really not that much better than a one in the same number chance of winning.
Still, there are idiots who spend more than they can afford on these incredibly bad odds.
The stories are all over the internet of foolish souls.
One woman spent every last dollar she had, everything,
on buying tickets the last time the p-ball pot got insanely high.
She lost it all, her life savings,
and then started a go-fund-me campaign for people to save her from her self-inflicted penury.
I wouldn’t send her a dollar.
Honestly, she’s just too non-brilliant to be encouraged.
Some people call the lottery a stupidity tax,
because only stupid people would fork over their hard earned cash
for nothing but a piece of paper
they will throw away in disgust just a few days later.
I think of it differently.
I think of the lottery as hope tax.
It really just boils down to a form of entertainment for people
with more hope than sense,
and more reason to use their imagination than their reason.
So I weigh the odds against my need for hope.
For $4 a week I buy hope.
Considering the hours of pleasant personal obsession it fuels in me
(especially since I know I am eventually going to win),
it’s worth the money.
I gave up my fancy coffee habit.
Naturally one must replace the void left by renouncing one vice
with the satisfaction of another.
So I gave up the gluttony of a $20 a week mocha frappuccino habit
for a $20 a month gambling habit
which feeds an unhealthily overactive imagination.
So freaking worth it.
TMI?
Yep.
Do I care?
Obviously not.
(See title of this particular PB book.)
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