Here I am in the library again, hating at people. People are noisy and make smells. I had to sit at a desk up against a window so I am basically a live mannequin on a computer. I have a test in half hour for the unit which I am only just failing at >.> If I fail it… I think I should re-evaluate my study path. I have the capacity to do this… just not with kids and money issues at the moment.
Sigh.
Today has fatigue and so did yesterday and I’ve been drinking too much. The home brew blackberry wine turned to vinegar so I’m wondering how I can maybe embrace that, but most probably I won’t.
Maybe I should just wash other peoples dishes and slice bread for the rest of my life? The economy is fucked anyway, life is expensive. I’m studying to get ahead and you know.. maybe I won’t even be able to when I’m done because costs keep going up and I’ll have roughly $50k HECS to pay off by then.
Twenty minutes to go.
Depression is creeping in.
Ian had his job interview yesterday in Hobart. We are both confident that he passed. That means he’ll be over two hours away, and I’ll only see him once a week. That was hard before. Maybe I can use that to study harder.. ie: slip further into poor mental health…?
-SP
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