I have no trust in my relationship in Life is Learning

Because I have no trust in myself. I’m starting to realize the worst parts of my relationship are manifestions of myself. I could run away and blame him but I’d only be doomed to repeat these issues in another relationship. He is such a good guy and because I never believed a good man could exist I did everything to push him away. I constantly criticize myself so I do the same to him. I constantly worry and fear the worst all the time. So I worry and fear he won’t come thru and it’s all so unbearable. I’ve been the worst partner but I believe I can change if I believe in myself once and for all.