I guess I wasn’t finished from my previous entry.
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I listened to the podcast S-Town on my flights to and from the interview on Friday and Saturday mornings. I almost got through 6 episodes on the plane(s), but there were times when I had to go back and re-listen to a few bits and pieces, thinking I must have heard that incorrectly!?! I finally heard the seventh and last episode yesterday while I was unpacking in my apartment. I have to say that in the end it blew my mind in several ways – simultaneously breaking my heart, making me spitting angry, and taking my breath away many times over. So many things and thoughts and memories flooded my mind…from the southern twang, the nosy-gossipy townspeople, and the hidden BRILLIANT talents you’d never know that strangers may have, to the feeling of utter loneliness and the SECRETS we keep. It’s real-life fantastic and difficult and everything in between. My gut feels twisted just typing this out.
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I’m tired of being lonely. I want a boyfriend…or maybe even just a friend of the opposite sex. I can’t tell you how much I miss The Bulldog. Isn’t that weird? But not really. I miss how innocent we were until we weren’t. Remember? We simply hung out for 8 months without so much as a kiss. And even though it was confusing and strange to me, I loved having a guy friend who I could go to dinner with and be girly with and even kind of tease. I miss that so much. I feel maybe like John B. McLemore (reference to S-Town, above).
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It’s been 414 days since I last had sex.
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It’s been 6 months since I last had a cigarette.
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It’s been a while since I last cried. I teared up listening to S-Town, but something big is trapped inside. See #13, I guess.
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Oh yeah, Mercury is in Retrograde. No wonder I’m feeling nostalgic.
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I have Friday off. I’m going to try to see Bachelor Party Marty on that day. He’s hinting around…hint..hint.
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I think I’m out of stuff. Need to go anyway. Thanks for listening.
xox,
GS
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