Wow, you guys.
Do you remember when I went to France last year? I did all of my research for months and created what I thought was an itinerary for the coolest trip ever?
Well, in my joy to plot and plan and research and dig for cool things/places/sights/scenes, I posted a few of my thoughts on Facebook. They were just little blurbs, nothing major and no biggie.
Well, my college sweetheart (who happens to live in France) saw the posts on Facebook and sent me a private message asking me when I was coming and where I was going and (since I was going solo) if I wanted him to introduce me to anyone - it might be nice to have a friend in France to have dinner or a drink with?
I don’t communicate much with my former flame - and when we do, it’s NOTHING like flirtation. Definitely in the old friend kind of way. I know he’s married with three kids who are now almost grown! You know me, I’d never intentionally do something that would jeopardize someone’s relationship.
However, as it turned out, ex-flame and I were going to be in the same place at the same time (Paris) on the first day of my vacation. He was going to be there on business, leaving the next day to go back to his home in Bordeaux, and I was just going to be landing and getting my bearings, and of course I was going to need to eat (and drink some wine), so we might as well meet in person, right?
So, he asked me to make plans via a different and very weird and secret-looking email address. I asked him if he was being shady (of course he was), but of course he didn’t come out and say it…pretended like it was all normal to be sending emails to a shady email address (some kind of “dark net” thing?).
Regardless, I figured that was his deal, and I knew I wasn’t going to be into messing around with him when we met…yada, yada.
Bottom line is, he met me in Paris on my first night in town; he took me to meet his friend on the other side of Montmartre; we drank lots and lots and LOTS of wine; we took the metro back to my hotel and had a nightcap in a café across the street; he came up to my room at the end of the night and tried to get frisky with me until I kicked him out.
Did anything happen? Well, a kiss. He tried for more, but I wasn’t into it. Would anything else had happened had I let him? YES. No doubt in my mind.
Regardless, we both went on with our lives, but now I had a new friend (his friend Pascal, who took me out to dinner the second night I was in town), and he had also wanted to introduce me to another friend of his in the fashion industry as we could find this potential relationship mutually beneficial. So occasionally, since my Champagne Campaign, S. and I would communicate about what’s going on with Pascal and his other friend, Christophe. But never anything really personal about each other. Strictly business.
I didn’t give any of it another thought.
Until this past weekend.
I’m friends with pretty much everyone in S.’s family. I mean, the dude and I had lived together while we were in college - we played house - we were essentially married. And I loved his family! So I’m FB friends with his sister and his brother and “like” a lot of the things they post.
Over the weekend, his brother was celebrating 12 years of marriage. I clicked “LOVE” on the photo. His sister posted a cute new profile picture and I “LOVED” that one too.
…and then, somehow, SURPRISE....S’s wife sent me a FB friend request!!??!!!
Well. I scratched my head a little, but didn’t think a whole lot about it. I just figured that maybe she was clicking around FB and accidentally friend requested me? I know she knows who I am…I know she was jealous a long, long time ago when we all first got on FB because S’s sister wrote a whole bunch of stuff on his wall about me (remember when we did that in 2008…just WROTE shit out in public on peoples’ walls??!), and she got MAD as hell and sent a scathing email to S’s sister and then unfriended her!
I did nothing with the friend request and actually forgot about it - until yesterday, when S. sent me an email, and this is what it said:
”Hello,
Hope your day is going well. Mine not so much. A couple of days ago my wife made the connection that you are friends with Pascal which obviously means we met in Paris, etc. I’ve tried explaining the situation (email below). She wants to red our conversation, but problem is I don’t have the message from my old dead email [ed note: his “dark net” email died!]. Could you transfer them to me please?
Thanks :)
S.”
…and there was an email forwarded telling her about how it was coincidence that I was in Paris at the same time, yada, yada.
I, of course, forwarded our email string that did NOT expose anything (except that we’d had too much to drink when we were together). But there was another string of emails that looked pretty shady which he asked about, and I told him that I must have deleted the emails. I felt bad, but y’all…I just didn’t feel like getting into it with these people!
So NOT WORTH IT!
He told me that he’d smooth things over and not to worry, so I’m not going to worry about it.
But I can’t help but think about how S’s wife must feel. I’ve been in her shoes! I’ve been the one obsessively checking Facebook for every little tidbit of information I could find! I’ve been the one with the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I’ve been the one going over every single photograph of some strange woman that I could find online via every means I know how!
I feel bad, but I also know that I did not do anything wrong…except for meet my ex-love KNOWINGLY in secret. But I also feel like, hey, it’s HIS fault for not telling his wife that he was meeting his ex-gf in Paris. Right? Because…
MEN.
Okay. Gotta run. Gotta whip these assholes into shape…again.
xox,
GS
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