there’s a theory that says the mere act of acknowledging gratitude
towards three items a day, every day
actually grows the part of the brain that accepts love and happiness
and can be more effective than therapy or medicine
in battling clinical blues.
i am twenty-five, twenty-six in two weeks,
i am an american expat in australia–
i’d just be called an immigrant if i wasn’t white–
with a husband, a housemate, a job in an office,
a lot of friends, hobbies.
i have all of my limbs and most of my teeth–
i had some removed for braces about a decade ago.
i have a horrible memory. worrisome, really.
the days pass quickly and i just want to remember them
and i forget to blink and the gratitude can go so fast.
things are good, really good, have been good for a long time.
for a long time they weren’t good. but now life is
really nice. easy.
enough money, enough love. hardships
come but they’re easy enough to battled
with an army.
so i just thought i’d start writing about my days.
even just little things.
and saving snippets of things,
things i like at the moment,
things that moved me,
images i saw or memories or songs or recipes i ate and liked.
i’m living this good life and i just
want to remember it.
i don’t remember anything.
just the present, and i unwrap it so quickly.
carelessly.
yesterday i mostly sat around,
see i start a new job in two weeks–
the job seems wonderful. the people are warm,
the opportunities seem vast.
tomorrow, my best friend from america
will be visiting me.
but yesterday i just sat quietly and played
computer games. my husband came home
from work and we ate
pasta–his treat–and had bumbling,
awkward sex which is okay
because it’s not often awkward
so it was kind of funny.
we slept, holding hands,
as we do.
our two year anniversary is in march.
it will mark seven years of being together–
(though five of them were long-distance,
with months and years between us sometimes,
but two years of marriage, constant
everyday togetherness.)
i hope he always wants to hold my hand as much as he does now.
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