Lovely Leah’s daughter (let’s call her LLD just to keep it simple):
Tuesday night I went up to Lovely’s house. They were all away at a candle light vigil that LLD’s friends had put together. I’m sorry I missed that, but was actually happy to be at the house before they got back from the vigil. When Lovely walked in it was just so stunning. She was clearly in shock with that glazed over look on her face, and trying to be a hostess to the group of people who’d come back with her - including Anna and several of the other girls. Her husband (LLD’s stepdad) hugged me and broke down in tears and it just broke my heart. That man loved LLD as his own and even better than most dads I’ve seen. He was so actively involved in LLD’s life - down to making her lunches every morning when she was in school!
Celebration of Life was on Thursday evening. It was tough. Surreal. So many people. So MANY old friends I hadn’t seen in a very long time came out in support. And it was a happy occasion - we were there to celebrate LLD’s life…it was not a stuffy funeral and I’ve never quite been to an event like this. I’ll be honest, I was the one who broke down in tears in front of everyone when I walked through Lovely’s door, but both Lovely and her husband rushed to my side to comfort ME!
The rest of the evening was quite nice. I met some incredibly interesting people - Lovely’s boss (who was really concerned about how he could be a support to Lovely…I found that touching), and neighbors and other friends I’d only met once or twice before.
At one point in time, dozens of LLD’s friends walked through the place. LLD was 20, and part of a party scene. There were lots and LOTS of piercings and tattoos and knit beanies and tons of lipstick and eyelashes.
This death was a surprise. LLD had not been sick and I don’t believe that she’d had depression or mental illness. In fact, LLD and Sexy Pant’s kids were the same age. Lovely and I used to compare notes on our “kids” and I used to say that LLD was a dream child compared to SP’s kid. Of course, that’s not fair. SP’s kid (SOS, remember?) was mentally ill and had been out of many, many mental health facilities, including a maximum security facility AND juvenile jail. By contrast, LLD, while a little bit of a party girl was living at home, going to school and working as a Paralegal in an extremely reputable law firm.
There’s speculation that LLD died of a drug overdose. Apparently, LLD had been partying ALL night with friends last Saturday night. She’d been to not one, not two, but three house parties, and the only thing that I know is that, wherever they’d crashed (a friend’s house?), LLD’s friends were not able to wake her up.
LLD’s ex-boyfriend was listed in her phone as her emergency contact. Okay you guys, this is only my opinion, but that dude was VERY handsome, very buff, and VERY 35-years-old. I’d never met him but seen pictures and was concerned for her that this dude was up to no good. But they were broken up. Still, the police called this dude because he was the one who was listed as her contact!
The ex-boyfriend called Lovely and told her where she needed to go. The rest of the story is fuzzy to me because that’s all that I have. CAN YOU IMAGINE?! On a normal Sunday afternoon, your 20-year-old daughters EX-BOYFRIEND calling you to tell you that your daughter may be dead at some stranger’s house?!
The medical examiner report from the autopsy has not come back yet. I understand that there is a criminal investigation going on. I don’t know if I will know any more of the story, but I’m so curious and so… I don’t even know what the word is.
I’ve been “friends” with LLD on FB and Instagram for a long time. LLD’s daughter and I had nicknames that we called each other. I could see from her social media that she was doing things that were risky, but I was always the one who was like the supportive MUCH older friend of her mother’s who knew what she was up to but let her slide with a wink and a knowing nod. That gives me some guilt. However, I was never in a place to be in a situation where I could give LLD some “motherly” advice, you know? That was never my role. My role was of a friend of her mom’s who was single and mingling and doing a little bit of partying herself (but truth be told, never to the level that her mom had partied in the past - which is a whole other entry). Anna told me that LLD looked up to me. I could see that.
Regardless, the celebration of life was fitting. It was a celebration. There were tears but there was also laughter. There were very good memories.
The dust will settle and the shock will set in, and nothing in Lovely’s life will be the same. I ache for her, and I wonder for her what life is going to be like and I hope beyond hope that she doesn’t sink down into the darkness. She’s had a very difficult life from the start. She’s been thrown the most incredible challenges and has always, always bounced back. I know it will be different this time. LLD was her life. How do you bounce from this one?
Of course the answer is, you don’t.
So much.
Oh Lovely. Oh LDD.
xox,
GS
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