I went to bed really early last night with a longing in my heart for someone to share my bed…really missing that human touch, so of course I woke in the middle of the night with my mind reeling and spinning and thinking about everything.
I also did that thing that you’re not really supposed to do when you wake up in the middle of the night: I looked at my phone. I had a notification that a woman who’d been involved in the past with Sexy Pants (my ex-fiancé) had “liked” one of my Instagram pictures. She must have done it by accident because when I actually went to the IG app, her “like” was no longer there. Long story as to how I know she’d been involved with SP and how I know who she even is, but just trust me - this woman is kind of stalker-y, so I’m not entirely surprised by this…though it has been a really long time and I’m kind of curious as to why she hasn’t moved on.
Anyway. My dream when I finally went back to sleep was this.
First, I dreamt that I was in a man’s apartment. Alone. All I know is that the man liked me and I wasn’t sure how I felt about him, and I’m not sure why I was even inside his place while he wasn’t there. I remember feeling a little strange at being there with all of his belongings, knowing that he was unaware I was there and that he was going to be coming home at any moment.
Next, Sexy Pants came in and surprised me. He was in his underwear and nothing else. He tried to get handsy with me, and I wouldn’t let him, knowing that the “interested” man…the man who actually lived in that place was going to be showing up at any moment.
Sexy Pants ended up making me a drink that was quite tasty before he left. It was milky/creamy, like a White Russian? Kinda nice? And then he was gone.
A minute later, the guy who lived in the apartment showed up. He was only slightly surprised to see me there and was pleased that I’d made myself at home. I remember feeling no attraction to him. But he didn’t show up alone. He brought a friend. And that friend was a wild-bearded, wild-eyed wild man to whom I was wildly attracted after just a glimpse.
My alarm woke me up right after that.
So. What does it all mean?
Well, I’m not completely surprised that I dreamt about SP because he’s been back in my life via text. Remember he was engaged and had moved to another city, right? And I respected that engagement and the two of them by deciding that I would never, ever text the guy again.
Well, during the holidays he started texting me again and of course, I ignored the texts. I had even deleted all of his contact info, but I hadn’t blocked the info, so his texts were coming through under just a phone number. Finally, I guess before he gave up, he told me that his engagement was OFF (surprise?) and that he was moving back to [my city].
Stupid me, but I wanted to know WTF happened?!
A few texts later and I found out that apparently his new fiancée was dragging her feet and he felt like she wasn’t into marrying him, so he left…with a multimillion-dollar house being constructed in another state?! Weird. Whatever.
And a few more text series later, he wanted to re-hash some of our issues, but I certainly wasn’t going to go there. I mean, seriously? Our issue was that YOU WERE A CHEATER, MOTHERFUCKER. Plain and simple.
He’s stopped texting. At least for the time being.
I don’t know about the rest of the dream, really, except that perhaps maybe I’m closer to what I want than I realize? That I’m already IN someone’s space, but that I’m obviously more attracted to the wild-eyed and wild-bearded? I’m overlooking someone who’s been here all along? Who could this be? What could this mean? Do I have it all wrong?
I don’t know.
OK. Enough of my dream world. Back to reality.
Until next time…
xox,
GS
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