Twitter Quick in BookThree: Flight Log 2016

(1) Today, I have spent most of the day trying to do work. Not like… work work… but like… organize my desk so I can write a really long professional looking Summary of Current Cases for the new boss. Because I want him to know that I do in fact want to learn how to be a functioning attorney. Because this county has needed one for 2.5 years. And I’m ready to know what the hell I’m supposed to be doing everyday!

(2) As my day has been busy-ish. I have not caught up on the 65 entries you all have written. I will catch up… but it may take me some time. Forgive me.

(3) I was going to say that it is a good thing that I don’t have a Twitter account because I’d troll the President-Elect. I was going to say that it is a good thing that I don’t have a Twitter account because every day there would be a post that read “And at exactly CURRENT TIME, I hit my most ‘Dammit, I miss civilization’ moment for the day!” I was going to say that it is a good thing that I don’t have a Twitter account because it would quickly fill up with nonsense, political freak outs, and references to movies and video games. INSTEAD what came to mind was the following:
My prosebox is and has been (and will continue to be) a place where I do an enormous amount of bitching. Because I genuinely and honestly feel… something? In Omaha, I loved it but couldn’t get work and my wife hated it. I got a job in Iowa because she wanted very much to move back to Iowa. Even my past entries about the interview scream I do not want this job. Seriously, I re-read them this weekend and… yeah. I could tell from the offset that Boss was crazy and lost her mind; this county was empty and dead; and that there was nothing to do and no jobs to be had in the entire county. So… yeah. I’m sorry for this place being such a shitty probably woe-is-me place. But… do you know what is in my head right now? I want to call up friends and go watch Dr Strange (or Fantastic Beasts or Christmas Party or Rogue One or Arrival). I want to grab McDonalds on the way to Lazer Tag or Indoor Mini Golf. I want to be sitting next to my wife in a gown while watching the symphony. I want to be laughing with friends as we fail dice rolls. People who grew up in Rural Areas or who hated Urban Areas may not understand this. But as much as I bitched about how crowded everywhere was… now that I’ve seen the world from both extremes… the choice is easy to me. Being surrounded by people is like music. A cacophony of sounds, experiences, interactions. Being somewhere constantly empty is like living without music. And as the son of a Music Teacher… as someone who was in Musical Theater, who play(ed/s) the cello, who was in Honor Choir… that is a depressing statement. A world without music.

So I am sorry to my readers who come here and see that day after day I write the same things, the same feelings, the same frustrations. But in some ways… this place really is like a jail for me. But worse… a jail that I am responsible for getting out of. And that brings up another thing. Clearly, I can’t speak openly with my wife about my worries or fears. And I have no one else to do that with. SO I come here to do that. And I’ll tell you. As much as I want to leave this place (and it is a great deal)… the thought of leaving here and not having a job to go to? Makes me sick to my stomach. It causes a tightness in my chest. The thought of it causes me a small panic attack. So… that’s (maybe) why I come here with the same fears and concerns and bitching. Because this place is terrible for my wife. And this place is odious for me. But the present alternative fills me with such anxiety and panic.