I have been feeling bored, lazy, useless and depressed. It is definately summer. It's not all bad though. First of all, I am almost completely recovered from my oral surgery. I can eat most solid food, and I don't look like a chipmunk at all anymore. Second of all, I got my AP bio test score back, and I got a five. (Woo.) Third of all, when I was grinding coffee at work Friday, I heard Harry address me and say something which was drowned out by the coffee grinder.
I turned it off. "What?"
"I said you did good on your test."
I gave him a blank stare.
"I'll see if we have a green hat back there we can give you."
"Oh," I said. An involuntary smile spread slowly across my face. "Oh cool, thanks. There's actually a green hat in my hat slot right now... I noticed it because it was there..."
"Aright, great, so you can put it on when you want."
After I finished grinding the coffee, I pinned my name tag to the green hat, adjusted it to fit my rather large head, and put it on. I went into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I spent the next ten minutes or so trying not to grin, partially because it still kind of hurt to grin, but also because I was embarrassed at how proud of myself I was. I came to the realization that I care, a lot, and I'm not sure why. There really wasn't much pomp and circumstance surrounding it though. No one even mentioned it until closing time, at which point Jake gave me an astonished look and said, "Ohmygod, you got your green hat!"
I laughed. "Uh... You've been talking to me all day. You didn't notice?"
"Lauren!"
"Shut up Jake! I don't care!"
"But Lauren! Aidan got her green hat!"
She turned around. "Oh. Have you been wearing it all day?"
I nodded.
"Well. I feel retarded."
Then I mopped and listened to Jake and Lauren continue with their "You know you love me" "No, I hate you, stop bothering me!" conversation. Overall, there was more pomp and circumstance when Mike the Drill Instructor gave me my nickname freshman year.
Friday night I talked to Dave online, and he suggested that we hang out the next day. It was more awkward than it should have been. Even though he was the one who suggested it, and he suggested it because Tom and Molly were both away and he "didn't want to spend the weekend alone," he seemed to be at least a little uncomfortable with the thought of hanging out with just me. I pretended not to notice, but then I suggested that we could invite Julian and jam, and there was a general air of relief.
So the next day, after fretting about it and lying around and feeling pathetic, and using the excuse "he's probably not up yet" until about twelve thirty, I called Julian's house.
Voice: Hello?
(It was the Brother. The Brother's voice is almost identical to the father's, but with more young-adultish apathy, and also a little bit of the heavy-on-the-L throatiness that characterizes Julian's voice. It struck me that he sounded almost Southern. I wondered if they are originally from the South.)
Me: Hi, is Julian there?
The Brother: No, he actually just hightailed it over to the library.
Me: Oh. Do you know when he'll be home?
The Brother: If this is about the band thing, I don't think he's coming home in between.
Me: ...What?
The Brother: Oh - He has a thing at the Organic Grocery Store, and I think he's going straight there after work. He shouldn't be home 'til after six or something.
Me: Oh. Okay, thanks, bye.
Click.
So Julian couldn't come jam with us because he had a gig. With Rob and Jay. Ouch.
But Dave came over with his bass, and we pretended to jam for a bit. We didn't really do much in the way of playing actual songs though, since the jam consisted of fifty percent Dave, and Dave seems to prefer talking and playing silly snippets of things that he picked out, or occasionally, just random notes. Julian's usually the one who says, "So are we going to... Do something?" We did spontaneously burst into a slow ska version of "Old Time Rock and Roll" though, which was pretty hillarious, especially since it was clearly not old time rock and roll. I also showed him the song I've written for the jazz band so far, and the big band version of the Marseillaise I found, and we had an indie cred conversation and a band gossip conversation, and then my parents kicked him out. Good times.
It really was fun and not awkward at all once he got here. It was just like when we hang out all the time. I don't know why he thought it wouldn't be, or why I thought it wouldn't be. I dunno, it was Kosher, right? I mean, half the time we were hanging out in the kitchen with my mom, because that's where the food and band gossip were. Inviting him over shouldn't have to be all weird... Should it?
Well, it wasn't. I was just afraid it might be. And... Maybe Molly should be the one to answer that question anyway.
It's too bad Julian couldn't come. I feel like if I got the chance to actually talk to him, I might be able to figure out whether I still like him. I hope I do, but I don't know.
That's it. I should find something productive to do now. Like... Play the Sims 2.
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