T-4 in BookThree: Flight Log 2016
- Dec. 7, 2016, 3:19 p.m.
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- Public
Yesterday, I truly felt like I had put in enough work to be worthy of a paycheck. That happens very rarely around here. Usually, I earn my paycheck by simply tolerating the ridiculous way things are done. But yesterday, when I left work… I honestly felt like I had put in a good day’s actual work and had honestly earned my paycheck.
No nightmares last night, but I did wake up freezing and in no mood to leave the bed. But leave the bed I did for I had to return to what this village considers daily life. Unfortunately, all morning I felt this inexplicable certainty deep within myself that I did not in fact get the job in Des Moines. I’ve heard nothing from Des Moines and I’ve seen no evidence to suggest the job has been offered to someone else. But I’ve merely had that feeling all day. Not a feeling of “I suck, so I didn’t get it” nor a feeling of “I don’t deserve it, so I didn’t get it.” Merely, very straightforwardly, this sense that “I didn’t get it. That is done.” Obviously, I hope this “feeling” is incorrect but… statistically speaking, it is extraordinarily likely that such a feeling is perfectly accurate. So… back to crafting “cold call letters” and the like.
It is freezing outside. Literally. It is below 0 centigrade.
Today is yet another day where I feel like I have honestly earned my paycheck. Several surprises reared up today in court and several pieces of business needed to be handled this afternoon. So… two days where I don’t feel like I’m lying when I say, “I’m a lawyer.” Not bad. Of course… in this neck of the woods, I don’t expect that to continue a great deal. But we shall see.
Lastly, I suppose, I should announce that I officially received a letter from Navient today. I have zero school debt. No Undergrad Debt. No Law School Debt. The only “On Credit” or “On Loans” or anything now is payments on my new wedding ring. Heck, even our Christmas Shopping is done. So as to money at the moment… we are safely a float. As to returning to a place that truly feels like home? We still have a long way to go.
Deleted user ⋅ December 07, 2016
That is so exciting about the loans, though!!! Congrats! I know how hard it is to pay them off, and I also know how great it feels to have that weight off your chest. You're doing great. 👌
Deleted user ⋅ December 07, 2016
Maybe you should follow up with the job....I applied for a position 3 months ago and never got word about it, and felt depressed and decided to give up. But I got a call this morning saying they are moving me forward with the process. They said they emailed me Saturday but I never got it. So you never Know, there's still hope!
Always Laughing ⋅ December 12, 2016
At least you have one less worry which I know isn't much with all that you deal with.