Saturday, Dave threw a Six String Samurai party.
"So basically... We're just going to watch Six String Samurai?" I said over the phone.
"Yeah."
"And when you say 'party', who's coming?"
"Well Molly," he said quickly, "and... I called Tom, but he's not back from an ultimate frisbee something, so I don't think he can come. And... Um... I was considering asking Julian?"
"...Will he... Is he..."
"Probably not."
"Okay."
I tried not to hope too hard. He probably wouldn't come. I mean, he doesn't seem to like socializing for the sake of it, and he also doesn't seem to mind coming right out and saying that he doesn't like socializing for the sake of it. I kept telling myself this. I wore a shirt I felt pretty in anyway.
Dave has a large, friendly, stupid mutt of a dog named Samantha. When you go to Dave's house, Samantha always makes her presence obvious. Mostly by enthusiastically trying to lick your face, even if you're in a car. I couldn't hear her when I rang the doorbell, but as soon as I walked in the door, she came running at me from upstairs, put her paws on my shoulders and slobbered all the hell over me.
"Jesus!" I said. "Surprise attack!"
Dave grabbed her by the collar and pulled her back. "Sorry about that. Just pat her on the head and she'll calm down." I did. She panted and wagged her tail and seemed to be smiling at me. Dave put her into the sunroom and closed the door. Immediately after he did this, he said, "look, Julian's here!" He grinned in a rather Tom-like way. "I actually got Julian to come to a social event. I think this is a first. I'm very proud of myself." I beamed internally a little. He got the door.
"Hey," said Dave.
"Hey," said Julian. "So who's here?"
"Just Aidan."
"Hey," I said, coming out around the corner.
"Hey."
Samantha started barking wildly. Julian sat down in the living room, looked over to the sunroom, observed Samantha for a few seconds, barking and jumping up onto the glass, and said, "Haha, you can't get out." He looked at her for a few more seconds. "Actually, this is kind of sad."
"I can let her out," said Dave.
"Uh..."
Dave let her out, holding her by the collar and patting her head. "She just wants to see who it is. Once you let her figure out who you are she'll lose interest." He let go of the collar, and Samantha immediately tried to jump into Julian's lap. He immediately jumped backwards, pushing the chair with him, and drew his arms in so that she couldn't reach them. He looked at the dog uncertainly, nervously. "I uh... Never had pets. Never wanted them, actually..." Samantha lost interest and came over to me. I patted her on the head and she wagged her tail and smiled. She started walking around the room as if she were so excited she couldn't decide what to do. Julian kind of watched her out of the corner of his eye. When she cautiously approached the side of his armchair again, he drew himself completely over to the other side of the chair and said, "god damnit." He moved the way that people move when yellow jackets are around them.
Like he was scared.
Why this is significant: I certainly recognize that Julian has what one would call faults. But somehow, they all just seem to make him cooler. I can always find a way to twist them into endearing traits. Antisocial? He just waits until he has something good to say. Dorky? He just doesn't care what people think of him. Funny looking? What are you talking about? He posesses an unconventional beauty. And he's dropping French next year because he doesn't let society tell him what to do, not because he's a quitter. And isn't it amazing that he has so many talents that he can just afford to waste one like that?
But afraid of dogs? Dude, they're just dogs. It's a tiny little thing, but... It's a weakness. He has a weakness.
The "party" went pretty well. We talked through the whole movie such that we didn't even watch it too much. We missed the lines, "If I were you, I would run." "If you were me, you would be good looking." Then we hung around and Dave's mom came down and grilled us on what we were doing this summer. (I ended up explaining everything about the Bagel Store, and people laughed.) Then we talked about dumb answers on Family Feud, and then we talked about elementary school, and Julian was talking, and he was talking to me sometimes, and it was cool. At about eleven he said, "So when are you guys... Leaving?"
"I dunno."
"Sometime? Why, do you want to leave?"
"Yeah, I think I will." After he called home, Dave tried to get him to sit down on the couch with us, but he just said several times, "no, really, I'm getting picked up in like two minutes," and looked kind of withdrawn and didn't talk. I went home a little bit after that.
That was my observation. Does it mean that I have taken a step towards recovery? Probably not. But I thought it might be worth mentioning.
More later.
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