The good ex.. in Deeper Bits (Emotional and such)

I had a dream two nights ago that I was getting back together with my first girlfriend. She's the only one I can honestly say that I have no complaints about her, and wish she'd been the one to last. I pulled her in, wrapped my arms around her, and said "I let you get away once. I won't make that mistake again." She gave me that big smile and her big blue eyes glistened. I didn't go back to sleep after that. I don't remember the rest of the dream, I just remember that scene. I think that's the only one that really matters. She's friends with a friend of mine from school, and it's so tempting to just message her "hi". I know things have changed, I mean it's been 16 years since I've seen her, 13 since I've talked to her, and I know life happens. But I still am so incredibly tempted. I just wish I could get some kinda sign from her that she wanted to talk to me. I've been single now for 2.5 years, it's been 1.5 year since I've been even slightly romantic, and as much as I have bigger fish to fry, I still wish I had that special someone. It'd be nice to have someone to end the day with, and talk about our days as we wind down and fall asleep. I more miss the emotional side of it. I miss being hugged, holding hands, the simple mushy stuff. It'd take some of the stress away. I'm so picky about who I'd date, there's not many that would have me, less that would actually work out long term. I settled for my ex. I'll not do that again. Shutting up to go watch TV and fart around till I pass out.