My mom is having cataract surgery this morning on her left eye. My little sister came up from Nashville (no, not with a suitcase in her hand or looking for a boy who looks like Elvis, she came with an ancient golden retriever and is seeing a gentleman who looks like Chuck Berry) to take her to the surgery and, in theory, give me some time off.
Yes, I have just cause to have a strong distaste for surgical centers and ER’s and the like, and probably not the same sort of distaste most people have and certainly not the distaste that people who are kind of reassured by such places but feel obligated to bitch about them anyhow. That’s not really the time off my little sister (who does not have golden hair and did not try to make it Tuesday) meant. I hope to get out of town this weekend. My only plan involving the company and not the destination.
I’d love to say something mysterious or, more often than not, evasive, like, say, It’s Complicated. It’s not. When it comes right down to it nothing is complicated. When someone says it’s complicated and aren’t trying to be mysterious, evasive or are just lying, it means they don’t quite understand. That’s a far cry from being complicated. I freely admit there’s a whole lot of stuff I don’t quite understand. I try very hard to remind myself of that and the assumption that such things are probably simple and the complications are the routes my poor pretty head are trying to take to figure ‘em out. My poor pretty head is prone to go off trail. I’m pretty sure that doesn’t come as news to anyone.
Often as not It’s complicated means ‘I don’t understand Chicks’ (I haven’t a clue whether chicks say ‘I don’t understand dudes’ I usually hear the opposite, this doesn’t mean anything, there is chick speak and dude speak that remains among chicks and dude). People rarely mean, for instance, that gravity is complicated or photosynthesis or wi-fi (though a number of people who believe they have a grip on such things would probably wind up painting themselves into an It’s Complicated corner).
The least complicated thing in the world is a road trip, unless of course you have to explain spontaneous combustion, which still is kind of simple unless a mechanic is asking in which case he or she is being pissy not complicated. It’s pretty flammable shit squirting into a little chamber where a controlled explosion cranks a series of bits and pieces that build up some torque and other bits and pieces use the energy to spin things around. These days we use a battery. Though the principle was the same I’m thinking the hand cranked beasties at the turn of the twentieth century were hardly considered spontaneous by the poor son of bitch out there doing the cranking. Horses pretty much run on hay and water.
Pretty much a road trip involves tossing stuff in your rig, picking up some complicated person, cranking up the tunes and spinning the wheel as you push the pedal on the right. As long as the pedal on the left (assuming it’s an automatic) isn’t being pressed you are on a road trip. Hitch-hiking is even easier; you don’t have to remember which pedal is which.
The necessity for a road trip is never complicated either. The excuses people make for not going on one are complicated but that’s because they are making shit up or being evasive. Truth is it’s always necessary to take a road trip. I sure hope I’m out of here for a few days.
When I stumbled down to make some coffee this morning my dad was shouting “I’m going to be All Right”. Dementia isn’t complicated either, but it is mysterious and evasive, and your best guess is always the right one. I figured he was shouting to see if he’d get an answer. I had a pretty lucid conversation with him about his wife and daughter being at the doctor getting cataract surgery. He asked if he should be there. I didn’t snort and was only mildly a smart ass and said it was all pretty well covered. He stopped shouting I’m going to be all right.
There are things I don’t quite understand about the surgery, I mean the way they are going about it, though my suspicion is that it has something to do with billing two surgeries which is pretty simple.
Y’all be nice to each other. I’m spent.
Loading comments...