I can no longer maintain contact with anyone in my family. Mum has too much control. I called my brother to ask he appologise for calling me horrible, and he went on this massive tirade about.. basically further perpetuating why I was even more horrible than he said before, I should really hate myself. If this happened a year ago it would have pushed me over the edge, I was so close to it already. Just. Wow. I’ve never been victim shamed before and I’m astounded how deeply conforming he is to our Mother’s manipulation. He does all the narcissistic work for her with words, and she just pulls the strings.
It’s my birthday tomorrow, and Dad will work it out when he tries to call. I imagine he will try to call Ian next. He said he will explain that I won’t do it anymore. Her behaviour is ridiculous, and the resulting verbal abuse from my brother is intolerable, and sadly Dad is the only one who is genuine but just being in contact with him hasn’t worked. She’s ruined it for everyone.. again.
The last abusive text message I received from my Mother, naming me as brutally selfish, appeared while I was in the midst of my second appointment for IVF egg donation. Ironic.
The IVF donation process so far has been a series of tests and councelling and meeting with the Surgeon and the clinic nurses. They are testing me for genetic markers and anything that may otherwise make me unable to donate. I really hope I can. I have disclosed Lupus, and that doesn’t seem to be an issue, since it’s not clinically proven to being genetically inherited. I’ve also given full consent to contact from the parents. They can meet me and my children at any time, and I got the impression that was favorable. I would like to meet the genetic donor of my children before I went ahead… so I guess these parents probably would too. There’s a whole lot more to it and I have to wait a few more months.
SP
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