Today in 20th century we watched a movie about the beat movement. I guess I knew about it before, but I never really thought about it much. Now it fascinates me. In the movie, they interviewed some of the writers who started the movement. Right away, they all come across as being really WIERD. They all have this wild enthusiasm in their voices, and obviously say whatever pops into their heads. A few of the men had huge bushy beards. There was this one guy who was wearing glasses that were tilted at at least a forty-five degree angle. These people were just the dictionary definition of "eccentric." And as the movie went on, I started to get the strong urge to find them and talk to them.
Why? Because they were true nonconformists. Very few people today are true nonconformists. These people talked about being free - doing what you want to do and feeling what you want to feel. They talked about traveling across the country and roaming around the streets of New York looking for freedom. They talked about doing drugs and being arrested and put in mental hospitals for being wierd, and writing and making music and trying to find someone to share it with. One guy said that when he tried to pick out someone like him who he might be able to talk to, he looked for "the guy who was waving goodbye to the stairs because it was the last time he would ever see them." These people were for REAL. They weren't trying to be different to be cool or to fit in. They were trying to be different because it was what felt RIGHT. They were trying to be different because they thought it was IMPORTANT.
The depressing thing is, there is really no influencial counterculture alive today. Punk doesn't count. Punk is on the decline. Besides, it's so overrun with posers that its original ideologies have pretty much been forgotten. So how are kids going to figure out how to go against the norm? Where are society's black sheep geniuses going to turn to express themselves? ...What is there to look forward to?
I brought this up at lunch, and it ended up turning into a discussion of what there is to do with life. I told Molly and Dave that sometimes I think that all I want to do in life is whatever the hell I feel like doing - travel, make music, write, learn - without giving a fuck about society and what it wants me to do.
"It seems kind of stupid," said Molly, "How half of your life is spent on school, and that's only to get you ready for the other half of your life, which is work."
"Exactly," I said. "That's where my 'only work at things that I care about' policy comes from."
"Yeah, see, that's a great idea in theory, but when your grade in the subject you don't care about is verging on a C..." she looked at me. "I don't know about you, but when I face facts, I know that I'm too snobby to stop caring completely. What if someone thinks I'm stupid? What if I don't get into a good college?" There was a pause. "And I know it's important to do what you enjoy, but I also want to accomplish something. Like, sometimes I think that I want to go to college and major in classics. And I know I would enjoy that. But what would I end up doing with it? Teaching other people the classics so that they can teach other people... It's useless." Another pause. "Other times I think I want to go to seminary and be a missionary. But I don't think I'm enough of a people person for that."
"Well you're not... NOT a people person. You're more of one than I am."
"Yeah, but still..."
"People skills can be worked on, too."
She shrugged. "Yeah, but I think some people have a natural ability, and I don't."
Then Dave said, "I figure that for the amount of money it takes to go to college for four years, I could start my own buissness instead. Like a music store. Then I could buy recording equiptment and get a band together. That's worthwhile AND I'd enjoy it. But of course, that probably won't happen either."
"Here's what I've been pondering lately though:" Molly said. "Is there really any inherant value to music and art?"
"It feels good," I said. "Is there any inherant value to anything?"
"Well, you know... food..." said Dave.
"Not even though. Imagine what life would be like with food, but with no music or art. What would be the point? I figure there's not much of a point to anything, but creating art is the closest you can get to something with a point."
"This is fucking depressing," said Molly. Molly never swears.
"Why? What's depressing about knowing you can do whatever you feel like?" I said.
"Because it's really knowing that I CAN do whatever I feel like, but I'm not GOING to because society's pressure is too much for me to handle. And also, knowing that whatever I do, it's not like it MATTERS anyway."
"We should have ska be the new counterculture," said Dave.
"What's the ideology of ska?"
"Be happy. Don't give a fuck."
"I don't think that's quite defined enough to be a nationwide movement."
"Hey, people go along with ideologies that they LIKE. I'm convinced that's why punk never got as big as, say, the hippies. Punk culture says, 'Be angry.' Hippie culture says, 'Do drugs and have sex.' Which would you prefer? OR, we could just create our own music genre with an ideology to go along with it and START a countercultural movement."
"Great idea Dave. Now all you have to do is be a musical genius."
"No seriously. We start with 'tribal war chant' and move on from there. It could happen."
I have a feeling Dave thinks that this band will stay together after the battle. Somehow I doubt it will.
Anyway, now I kind of want to steal a car and go cross country, and I definately want to start reading Kerouac. I definately do not want to do my math homework. Hey, I didn't last night.
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