Yes, I'm over him. It's been a week. I'm certainly surprised, and I might even be a little confused. Was what I felt for him "real love"? Am I just shallow and flitty, proclaiming my love for someone one day and then forgetting about him as soon as it becomes nessescary? I've asked myself these questions, and I've even considered being mad at myself for being able to get over him so quickly when I had such strong feelings for him. But I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised. I've read a bunch of diaries on this site where people claim not to be sentimental. But when you read their actual writing, it's clear that they ARE sentimental, at least in some way. When you say things about EVERLASTING love, TRUE love, or love that is special in any way, and believe what you are saying, YOU ARE A SENTIMENTAL PERSON. There is nothing wrong with being sentimental. But I am truly not a sentimental person. I know, and I always have known, that love is nothing special. Sometimes the hormones that flood your brain when you're in love momentarily trick you into believing that it is, but it really just isn't. I'm not saying that I don't enjoy love, but I look at it in a rational way. And when you do that, it looses a lot of its luster.
For exactly three days, I couldn't get the hormones to go away. I actually found myself thinking that Adam was SPECIAL because he made me feel something I'd never felt before. I felt like my life was over; that there was no point in anything anymore. I actually said things like "He never could have loved me the way that I love him, because that kind of love doesn't go away." But guess what? My life isn't over. It just took three days for the chemicals to leave my system, and now I'm being rational again, and I realize that I probably WILL feel like that again, and that next time, it might be with someone better. Adam basically turned me on, and that's it. It's possible, I realized, that someone exists who will turn me on as much as Adam did, but who I also will like and respect as much as my close friends. If this person exists, will they be "special"? NO! A relationship with them would be pleasant, that's all. We would have some good conversations and some good sex. And if we broke up, I would be sad, but then I would move on and THERE WOULD BE SOMEONE ELSE.
Anyway, what I'm basically trying to say with all this ranting is that it's not that I didn't have feelings for Adam. It's just that I can get over feelings, because they're JUST FEELINGS. Call me cold-hearted, but it sure beats the hell out of letting your emotions jerk you around.
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