This is where I will attempt to describe who I am, exactly.
I am in highschool. I go to a large public highschool in an artsy, rich, suburban town, where I think I am getting a pretty good education. Most of the reason our town is rich and artsy has to do with the fact that there is a very presitgious private highschool in the center of town. I thought about going there after middle school, but my parents are A, not very "cultured" and didn't really see the point, and B, not very rich. Now, though, I'm just as glad. I'm definately not a prep.
I am one of the smart kids. The fact that I'm telling you this doesn't nessescarily mean I'm arrogant (although I think it's safe to say I am.) I didn't come to this conclusion myself, people told me. When you're one of the smart kids, it is made very clear to you from an early age. I hang out with other smart kids, because that's what you're supposed to do. I'm glad though, because smart kids are interesting. I have good friends, and they're a good mix of all kinds of people.
I am also into music. There is definately a musical elite at our school - kids who are guaranteed to get into any school run group and play in all the rock shows. I think I may be on my way to entering this group. I play the flute and the guitar. People think I have some sort of identity problem, but playing a classical instrument and a jazz/rock instrument means that I can participate in just about everything musical that goes on in town. It's cool. I've gotten to know some pretty cool people through music.
I am moderately pretty, I guess, or at least not ugly. I am tall-ish and thin-ish. My hair is short and dark. I have a round-ish face, a small mouth, and large green eyes. I dress pretty modestly because it's easier. I would like to think that I don't care about the way I look, but that's not true at all. Why else would I bother to tell you?
So anyway, now that I sound well adjusted, here are my weaknesses:
I'm extremely obsessive. It's just the way I think - I get on one topic and I focus on it until I can't stop and it drives me crazy. Throughout my life, I have been obsessed with so many books, movies, TV shows, concepts, people, etc, it's not even funny. I may have mild OCD. Certain random things in the house have to be in certain positions, and if they aren't, I go and fix them. I must write in my journal every day about everything that happens, even if it seems insignificant. I spend, like, way too much time sitting around and going over my life in my head, talking to what I call "my invisible psychiatrist" (myself) and reading my journals (eight notebooks in all, over the course of four years.) I am also generally paranoid, and have had every nervous habit you could possibly think of, plus some wierd ones that I'm sure nobody has but me.
I am extremely mathematical/anylitical. This is to the point where I have a hard time understanding emotional stuff. I am not natuarally sentimental. In fact, I am pretty cynical. To me, cynicism defines reality. Being cynical isn't being pessamistic. It's being realistic. It's telling things as they litterally are instead of putting them in the form of euphemisms. Anyway, I do have emotions, (although I used to think I didn't) but I have a very hard time expressing them. I am not very social. I am a Meyers-Briggs INTJ, and pretty severely so. (33% I, 78% N, 64%T, 64%J.) I do not know how to put links in, but perhaps you should Google search it. It's pretty interesting. Anyway, the most concerning aspect of this weakness is the fact that for the most part, I hate being touched. After my first kiss, I got physically sick. There's one exception to this, but that's a different entry.
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