I got to talk to Jacquelyn again on Monday, and I can say definitively that nothing will happen if for no other reason that I may be a d-bag.
I finally saw her walk into the kitchen area next to my desk. I immediately checked my water bottle, which was mostly full. Then I remembered my bowl. I eat breakfast at the office, usually oatmeal I prepare using hot water from the coffee machine, and I hadn’t yet washed it. Opportunity! I was able to make polite conversation while she filled her thermos and I washed my dish, and I discovered that she has a child…two of them…twins…who are only two years of age.
I don’t want children. I don’t want to be a parent. I’ve discussed this issue in previous entries, which I won’t rehash here and now. I wouldn’t reject the notion of ending up with a woman who already had a child, depending on the circumstances. I mean, with each successive year, single moms make up more of my dating pool, so I need to be open to the possibility. However, dating a woman with twin two year olds seems like I would have no idea what I was getting into. Doing so feels less like punching above my weight class and more like picking a fight with a silverback gorilla.
Compounding all that is the fact that we work in the same office. Navigating a work romance can already be complicated. Throwing kids into the mix may ramp the complication up to the level of calculus based theoretical physics. Of course, it’s not like I have a lot of relationship experience to begin with. She’s clearly needs a guy who’s at the advanced level of dating and relationships whereas I’m still using my training wheels/water wings/etc.
Logically, I don’t think I’m being horrible. An attractive woman gave me an impression that she found me somewhat comely, and I wanted to find out more about her. I did just that, and the situation seems like a perfect storm of potential drama that would best be avoided. Like I said, I still feel like a tool, though; like that guy single moms describe as leaving a man shaped hole in the wall at the first mention of their kids.
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