i have had blogs in the past, some had a lot of readers. However, overtime I found something that made it hard to keep being honest..and that was that some of my readers had become friends. Those friendships meant that I had to start censoring myself since I was not in the position to speak of my fights with them. Anyways, long story short..I am starting this so I can speak of one of my biggest issues in life: erectile dysfunction.
I want this journal to serve as a release of my thoughts and emotions and potentially to help others who experience the same issue.
its hard to track back If I always had this or if it is something more recent. Many years ago I had a circumcision due to pain and discomfort during sex. A lot changed after the surgery..primarily that I had lost some emotion in my penis when I rubbed it. Condoms became a bit of a hassle since the lost of emotion..the condom kinda would cancel out the touch I had left. For the most part, this was not a big issue..most of my partners took the pill.
However, lets fast forward to my current relationship. I have been seeing Jessica for about 2 years and I really love her. She is talented and skilled but most important of all..she has challenged me as a person. Sex for us has been difficult. She cannot take the pill and there is no shortage of moments that I go ahead and put it on and my erection absolutely goes away due to it.
There is more. Overtime, Jessica pointed out that I am just a cold man. That I dont display much emotion or show a lot of motivation. I agree with some, disagree with other stuff. She started encouraging me to see a doctor to get my testosterone checked, etc. Doctor told me my levels were low, however, they were not abnormally low. He recommended that I redo my blood work in order to get a second look at it.
This was around the time I started taking pills. I had heard overtime about the magic of them from the commercials and magazines..I will save you the trouble, they’re not magical. The first thing to know is that they do not automatically make your dick hard. They still take a lot of work and not all of them work right away..some take hours to kick in. I had mixed results, sometimes they helped, sometimes they didnt.
This all lead to me to take my first trip to an urologist, a physician who specializes in penile health. I must admit, that all of this was not fun. Who enjoys going to the doctor? let alone who enjoys going in order to discuss their sexuality?
A million thoughts raced through my head as I was there..Am I the youngest person to ever come here? how much will this cost? will it be embarrassing? etc
The experience was not as bad as I expected..but I will discuss the visit on another entry.
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