Bad times, bad timing. I learned some things this week. It’s not that I don’t want to know, just that I wish they weren’t true. Among the things I learned is that my back is more fucked up than I thought. The little things I learned along the way sucked too.
Oh, yeah, and I didn’t learn them from a test result or anything. I went to a private training session at this place that does PT and Yoga and shit like that. You know those little old lady exercises like tilting pelvis while sitting on a big ball? Didn’t cause me pain and the trainer said good after telling me to imagine things, so it wasn’t that I was told I was doing them wrong — I just could feel my lack of extension. I was thinking it would be a workout of some kind or the next step after what was kind of an assessment would be classes or something. No. At least two more private sessions.
I’ve been compensating for 26 years and it’s going to be a long slow progression to normal. Some of the other stuff I learned might just be in my head. Under normal circumstances being in my head is a really interesting place to be, sometimes a good half a rotation ahead of the planet. Under abnormal circumstances … I have no way of knowing as I depend on my head for shit like that.
I lost the shrink on Tuesday. Wait, no, I know where he is, I asked him if he knew any reason why I shouldn’t suspend therapy indefinitely. He didn’t. He was a bit more verbose than that, even complimentary, I mean as complimentary as a professional gets. I liked the guy, but any more, um, probably a few sessions ago, was just me telling stories. I guess that’s really all any therapy is, but, you know, sometimes you get surprised or you just really need to tell a story to someone who isn’t in them.
Weird that. In print story always seems to connote fiction. Maybe that’s just me. I’m always as up to date on my own narrative as my memory will allow. Huh, that sounds like a complaint. I just don’t have any pressing need for therapy. I didn’t have one, not really, when I started, it was half to get my pain in the ass medical team off my ass and half because I was feeling a bit wound up. There’s a lot of dovetailing in those fractions. I liked the guy, if it made any sense to do it I’d like to buy him a beer. I start telling stories when I get a beer or two into me.
Did I mention a power outage? Probably. New thunderstorms today, normal ones, noisey and wet.
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