Thursday, June 2nd, 2016 at 5:30 AM
The universe seems to have a sense of humor, ill start off by saying that. The past few days I went swimming with my friends, got into verbal fights but we always seem to make up because in the end they are the only friends I have and despite me feeling alone now I wouldn’t have anybody at all without them. Tonight sometime after midnight my friends and I decided to stop playing games and go to bed so I stay on the computer for another hour and then lay down and watch some Anime, my current one which I love is the Magi series. anyway I started feeling really alone, thinking about everything, listening to sad songs etc and around 2 I just put on facebook “I have friends yet why do I always feel so alone?” and I went out on the balcony for a smoke, I was enjoying the quiet of the night and I looked up to the stars and the first star I seen I said the old childhood wish “Starlight, star bright, first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might and I wished that I wasn’t so alone that I would have a companion and here is where the universe came in with it’s sense of humor. a couple of minutes later and of all the random times, especially at 2 in the morning my neighbor decides to come out on his balcony and have a cigarette too. That little bit improved my mood for about 30 minutes but I started to feel worse and worse and went out in the living room and I found my cat, I picked her up and held her close to me. I let her go and she sits down right in front of me, here everything just breaks down and at this point I just hurt so bad I just want the pain to go away and I basically start crying, my cat just looks at me and I tell her that she deserves far better then me and I apologize, a million thoughts run through my head and I just push myself further down the hell train and I get up and come back to my room and start watching anime again. At this point it is 5:23 and I realize I am not getting any sleep so I decided to come on here and explain everything. I feel better now, I am just glad that breakdown is over and out of my system for now.
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