So it hasn’t been all deafening silence in the man department since I’ve gotten off of the dating apps, though most of this is simply residual effects of the crack. So here are some updates on various characters:
(1) JKD, aka JustKiDding (thanks for the name, CN!), popped back into my life a little over a week ago, texting like nothing weird had ever happened at the business dinner he’d invited me to after which he dumped me off at my place so he could play with his hookeresque “employees” and horny businessman colleagues. It was a brief text asking me if I was available for a drink and/or dinner at the very last minute. Um, no. I mean, yes, I was available in the extent that I wasn’t doing anything else really besides walking the dog…but NO because…WHAT??
First of all, why would you even pretend like nothing ever happened? And secondly…WHAT?
I texted him back saying I was busy that night, but that I’d be walking the dog the next night and that it would be fine if he wanted to meet me at the park and walk with me. He agreed. We met. He’d let the gray in his beard grow out. It looked really sexy. We stopped for a drink. He apologized for being offensive and a dick.
I told him that I appreciated that, but I also said that I didn’t think he was ready for a relationship. He insisted that he was, but I pointed out all of the ways he wasn’t - including the fact that he’s only been divorced for two and a half months! Not even a year…not even SIX MONTHS. He told me that he’d been dating a LOT during the time that he and I had known each other, and that he’s seen that I am absolutely the best one that he’s met.
I used that as another example of how he’s not ready. I don’t want to be the one that gets him over the hump. I’ve been that person before; I’ve tried to use that tactic before. It never, ever, ever works for me, and so I’m not going to participate with my heart. OK, maybe that’s ME not being ready to be used by HIM.
What I told him that I would do is be his friend. And honestly, I’m not exactly sure why. I think it’s that I thought it might be really fun to be out and about with him - like go to see his horses race, go to a baseball game with him (his office is in the stadium), and other events like that.
But I’m finding out that he’s just a guy who’s recently out of a marriage and he’s all over the place. He can’t even be a decent friend because he’s still asking me to do things at the very last minute, and I’m still having to say NO, make a PLAN.
Annoying.
(2) SAM (South African Man). I was supposed to go to brunch with him the day after we met, but I told him that I wasn’t feeling well…which was true, I wasn’t feeling well about him. So he reached out to me a few days after our weird first date and asked me to be straightforward with him and let him know if I was avoiding him.
I explained to him that I’d decided to take a break from dating and that I’d deleted all of my accounts and I hoped that he’d understand.
He was actually cool about it (cool = not psycho) and wished me luck. I haven’t heard any more back from him and I’m pleased.
(3) Bachelor Party Marty. Oh Marty…oh Marty…
After our sweet Friday night dog walk and drink date/make out session, he texted several times, alluding to seeing each other again but never making a PLAN.
This is the problem that I’m seeing with the Hang-Out Generation: nobody makes a PLAN. Is it that nobody makes plans at all anymore or is it that people are waiting for a better option and I’m a backup plan? I don’t want to be a fucking backup plan. I want to be a P.L.A.N., man.
How hard is it to make a tiny fucking commitment? Apparently, it’s almost impossible.
Regardless, I want to see him. I want to see him soon. I want him to touch the small of my back like he always does…and hold my hand, and kiss me ever so sweetly. That man. There’s something about this dude that gets me going. I love his affection. I love how handsome he is. I can’t believe he wants to hang out with me.
…but not enough to make a date with me two days in advance.
(4) The Intern. Guys, there is a kid who is doing an internship for like 6 weeks here at my office and this dude is hands-down probably the most handsome college student I’ve ever seen in my LIFE. My team had an introductory meeting with him to discuss what he’ll be doing as well as to inform him what WE do. It was all I could do not to just ogle him like an old perv. He is stunningly beautiful, with thick, dark curly hair, and huge brown eyes, luscious lips and…and DIMPLES. Not only that, he’s an impeccable dresser! High-end everything from his watch to his shoes.
He is clearly not part of my dating pool of potentials, but I have to add him to the guy list because Ughhhh. I was dying and feeling like a dirty old woman as I joked with him about allllllll the work he was going to have to do, all the while thinking about what he’d look like nude. NOW I understand all of the jokes about hot interns. I mean, damn.
His downfall? He has the personality of a board. I don’t know if it was nerves or what, but the kid was absolutely not engaged - not impressed with anything. In fact, I thought he was going to yawn in our meeting.
Is this the newest generation of our workforce? If so, I’m terrified for our future. I will give him one more chance to make sure that it’s not just shyness or whatever. I hope he steps up to the plate. He may be strikingly handsome, but a personality is going to go MUCH further for him in this office.
Funniest thing was, after our meeting I was walking down the hall with my two product managers, kind of sighing about how good looking the kid is, and Negative C. turned to me and said, “Hm…I hadn’t even noticed.”
Of course you hadn’t.
(5) The Opera Singer.
So. I found out that an out-of-town friend of mine was coming in for the last part of the week and the weekend. She’s coming as a guest of Lovely Leah’s to [A]’s and my brunch club on Saturday, but I found out yesterday that she came to town early and wanted to know if I’d have a drink with her last night (well, with her and the man she’s having an affair with…but that’s another story). Let’s call her Betty Boobs.
Anyway, I decided to be somewhat spontaneous and go have a very quick drink with her late last evening because, hey, you just never know, right?
So I showed up at the fancy restaurant, and lo and behold, Betty Boobs and her boo brought a friend! A very handsome friend. A very handsome friend who just happens to be a professional opera singer! A super interesting and handsome opera singer who was INTO ME. Super interesting, successful, interested opera singing dude who wants to see me this weekend!
The catch(es)? Married, though separated…and he travels the world constantly.
The sagas continue. Stay tuned.
Love and XXX,
GS
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