This weekend was nearly one for the record books in that I had a lot of action and for the first time in a long time things seemed pretty sexy and exciting.
Friday evening, I went out with [Athena], and had a lovely time. Originally, she had a date with her Hot Mess Express, but he backed out at nearly the last minute. Her original date missed out, that’s for sure. We discovered a new sparkling Sauvignon Blanc at a favorite restaurant at dinner and split a bottle and then went to a show at this great little theater. Intimate and fun show, even though we were late (because dinner was late and we both seem to get lost when we go to this part of town, so I was no help with directions to the theater). I felt joyous at the show. I should have danced, too. But I was saving my energy.
Saturday morning was our brunch club, Brunch Upon a Time, Vol. 5. My invitees were so late that the rest of us went ahead and ordered and were getting our food when they finally arrived. These women are notoriously late, and I was annoyed and a little embarrassed, but in the end it seemed okay - until Betty Boob’s boyfriend showed up unannounced. That was weird.
I had felt kind of hungover on Saturday morning, so ordered a bloody mary and then a mimosa on top of that during brunch. After brunch, it started pouring rain, so I went home and fell asleep for THREE HOURS in the middle of the afternoon. I tend to do that if I have drinks in the morning or at lunch. While it feels luxurious to do that, I also feel guilty and like it’s a waste to sleep my afternoon away. Regardless, I did it and I felt like I needed to make up for lost time, but just couldn’t get my act together.
Had plans for dinner with Betty Boobs and the crew, but as it tends to happen the plans changed and I was uninvited to dinner, but invited to join later at [Fancy Pants Hotel] where we would have drinks and could meet a guy who was interested in buying Betty Boob’s friend’s giant 5 carat engagement ring. I asked if I could bring my engagement ring for him to look at as well, and she said yes - that he’d be happy to take a look.
Lo and behold, I was re-invited to dinner at the very last second (when they were already sitting down to eat dinner), which annoyed me to no end. I said NO, I will not be joining dinner, but I will meet them at [Fancy Pants Hotel] at around 10PM because it was all I could do to get my ass in gear and eat a peanut butter sandwich and get ready to go.
I took Lyft to the hotel (because I hate Uber), and I was thrilled to see that the bar was not as crowded as it normally is on a Saturday night at this hour. There was actually a barstool to sit on!
Friends were there as well (surprise, they were actually there and not an hour or two late!), and one friend told me to give her my ring and she’d take it to diamond guy. I said NO, I will personally take it myself and hand it to him to look at while I wait. Diamond guy showed up. He’s an extremely handsome and buff dude, but seemed a little questionable. Maybe all diamond dealers are like this?
And of course, he was all…you’re not going to get what you paid for… and fake sad looks from the dude. I felt patronized, but then I decided not to feel that way because honestly, I really just want to get that ring out of my life. It feels like bad juju. I don’t really need the money, but I’ve been thinking about getting a really nice timepiece for myself, so I asked him if we could work out some kind of trade and told him what I am looking for from a watch perspective. He agreed and we exchanged info and I’m pretty sure I’m going to deal with this guy just to get the transaction done and over with. I have now talked to a few people now who trust him and have gotten jewelry from him before, so I’m not feeling so weirded out.
Got that over with and enjoyed the rest of the evening, which included flirting mercilessly with a couple of dudes who bought me lots of bubbly. We all decided to pile in an Uber (this time I was okay with it because somebody else was dealing with it) and go to another venue where we danced and drank and Betty Boob’s boyfriend funded the party, so all was good.
One by one, everyone left except for me and this one guy whose name I forget but that didn’t stop me from making out with him nor did it stop him from trying to get me to take him to my place. In the end, I let him get an Uber (again, I didn’t GAF at that point), and I let him make out with me on the ride to my place, but I DIDN’T let him come inside. I did give him my number and he sent me all of these super sweet texts and messages about taking me out on a date and blah, blah, blah…but I can’t remember his NAME. So in my phone he is known as [Bar Name]. Neat. Not even my type, but definitely cute and has to be at least somewhat successful because he lives in a super fancy high-rise condo near my apartment. I think he was just horny. We’ll see if he contacts me again.
Sunday morning woke up hungover again. Took the dog for a walk and then back to my apartment where there was a resident brunch on the rooftop. It’s not a regular occurrence, but every so often the management company does something nice for the residents. Doesn’t really make up for the shit that they pull, but still, I’m going to take advantage of the snacks and free mimosas when I can. Chatted with nabes and generally complained about the management company, etc. when I suddenly realized that I told Bachelor Party Marty that I’d text him in the AM when I woke up so that we could take our dogs for a walk together - this time in his hood! And it was actually a PLAN!
We decided that I’d head his way at noon and we’d walk to a super cool bar/restaurant in his neighborhood and have brunch with the pups. He sent me his address and I made my way over to where he lives, which happens to be the same part of town where [Athena] and I had gotten lost on Friday night. This time I’d mapped it out…though there was a lot of construction so I ended up having to go a totally different way and as it turns out a totally easier way than my original plan.
Wasn’t sure what to expect of Bachelor Party Marty’s place - all I knew is that he lives in an area that’s becoming completely gentrified, though there are still some really rough blocks there. His neighborhood is a checkerboard of nearly broken-down houses mixed with gorgeous renovated Craftsman style homes and bungalows. I wonder how expensive they are now? I’d love to maybe check out housing prices. Probably have to get a fixer-upper, and not sure about that…unless I had a hot handyman? I pulled up to the address and was almost surprised, but then I wasn’t.
It’s a true bachelor pad in every sense of the word. It’s a BIG OLD house that, from the outside, looks like it’s about to be condemned. There’s a well-used camper in the driveway. I knocked on the door, and when BPM opened it, the smell of weed greeted me and then a ping pong table in the entryway. In a way, it was utterly charming to me in that I haven’t been to a house like this in years…like since back in my college days. In another way, it was kind of jarring. I didn’t get too far inside before he grabbed his dog and we were on our walk.
Walk was great even though it was steaming hot from the recent rain. Bach. Party Marty lives mere blocks from all of the cool restaurants, bars and shops of this neighborhood. We stopped at our destination and got a table on the patio with our pups. People around us oooh’d and aaahh’d at our precious dogs. Ordered drinks. Talked a bit, and then the sky opened up and it started raining again. Luckily, it stopped pretty quickly. We sat next to each other on the bench, and a couple of times he touched my leg and it sent electric waves throughout my body. Have I ever mentioned how insanely attractive and sexy this guy is?
Brunch was nice, if not a little sweaty, and then we walked around the neighborhood. Went to this cute little pie shop, but we were too full to even consider getting a slice. Then around the corner to a tiny makeshift park, where he pushed me on a rope swing (romantic, no?) and we let the dogs run around a bit. Then around to a vintage furniture store and then finally back to his place where he asked me if I wanted to come inside and cool down for a bit before he had to leave for his volleyball games.
Inside, I met one of the roommates - there are three guys who live there - this guy was cute and in his 30, a little high I’m sure, sitting on the floor playing video games. He said hello and quickly split the living room.
I sat on the couch and watched while BP Marty fiddled with the two giant TV screens as well as the two laptops so that he could have soccer on one big screen and a live stream of the Bonnaroo music festival on another big screen. SUCH bachelorness! The dogs ran around playing with each other.
And then the make out sesh! Messed around a little on the big bachelor-sized couch until he asked me if I wanted to move it to the bedroom, and I told him that I couldn’t/shouldn’t, and I knew he had to leave for volleyball soon anyway. So we kissed and heavily groped a little more on the couch and he told me that he wanted to fuck around with me so that I could then go tell all my friends about it!!!!
record scratch
Okay, I think that is sooooo funny! But at the same time, the dude has a definite point because from what I could feel down there, there will be MUCH TO DISCUSS!!!!!
I’m not sure what to think about all that. I have had plenty to daydream about for the last 24 hours, that’s for sure! And now I think I’ve decided that I want to have the stories to live and to tell. HOWEVER. And there is a BIG BUT involved here. I know ME. I know me very well. I am pretty sure I will fall in love with him if we have sex. I fall in love with everyone. That’s how I roll. So what to do?
It’s rhetorical, you know. I need to have The Secks. I just need to be prepared for the repercussions. I also know that it would never, never work out between me and a guy 17 years younger - so maybe that will help me keep things in perspective. I’m so, so curious about what it would be like…
Sometime during my time with BP Marty, The Opera Singer called. He left me the deeeeepest -voiced message I’ve ever heard in my life. Did I mention, the man is a bass? The only way I can describe his voice is like a dark, velvety chocolate. Delicious. I’m saving that VM.
I called him back when I got home. He was driving back through town after spending a few days in another city. He had a flight back to his city that evening and wanted to know if I wanted to join him for a cocktail somewhere before he left.
I ended up meeting him, Betty Boobs and her dude at a bar close to BB’s boyfriends house. We talked. A lot. It started raining again really hard - pouring! Betty Boobs and her boo left. The Opera Singer’s flight was delayed. We had another drink and talked and talked. Dude is still married and no talking in the world is going to change that right now. But I enjoyed our talk and our drink. It stopped raining and he walked me to my car and kissed me on the lips with his luscious singing mouth. Wow.
I drove home and went straight to bed. I was fully saturated from the rain and the booze and the kissing and the touching and the whole excitement of everything that happened over the last few days.
So there you have it. I just told ALL MY FRIENDS! What a weekend. I’m still basking.
Love you guys,
GS
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