Couple days ago I was watching some show and part of the ongoing plot (I assume ongoing) is this guy was molested by a priest when he was a kid. It took me down the rabbit hole of associated memories. No, I don’t go into flashbacks when I see or hear some thing about pedophilia. Oh, it’s worth mentioning the show was a drama not a comedy, sad but true, a few years back it was really funny to people that priests molested children. If you haven’t heard any of those jokes I could dig some up for you.
I guess it should be worth mentioning my association with pedophilia was as a social worker, I suppose I have an older association too, but not as a victim. It’s the time and energy I don’t want to waste, the older story has very little to do with anything, my values and emotional core were the same on both sides of those events. What the hell, the short version is this group of old guys were enticing high school kids (freshmen, 13, 14 year olds) into having sex, money, drugs, sex with people more appealing. They got caught. There was a trial. Only one guy who was already doing time got any, well, anything. The ham fisted cops ran a bulldozer through some of the victims lives and through the DA’s case. It really had nothing to do with me getting into the field years later. If I was looking for the vics I’m sure I could find one that is still fucked up. The ones I know seem to be doing fine.
That was a tangent. I really am not cryptic when I don’t have to be.
Back in the late eighties I was sent to this five day seminar thingy sponsored by some big recovery outfit. The little correctional facility I was working for was ending the budget year with cash so they bought me a suite an admittance. It was a coincidence that the west coast seminar that year was held in Oregon, barely, Ashland, close to border, or I think they would have had to buy a fountain or something.
One of the workshops I went to was on Shame and Guilt and the speaker wa a guy called Ernie Kurtz. Ernie was the guy who set up the facilities and the treatment plans in the States for Catholic priests in recovery. The one you might have heard of is in Minnesota and it’s for priests with substance abuse issues. The other is in another state, I’d be surprised if you heard of it, and it’s for sex offender priests. These are not the only two in the world by a long, long shot. They are, or were in the late eighties, the only two in the States.
He was a good speaker, I got a lot out of the workshop. None of us (me and my peers) knew within six months we were going to be exclusively a juvenile sex offender program. Even so, it was a substance abuse seminar and I got to pick workshops that looked interesting, and the workshop was simply Shame and Guilt.
A few years later, maybe as many as it took for Preists and Choir Boys to be daily features in the tabloids, I was talking to someone, must have been a friend, but I really can’t remember the person, just the conversation. I’m assuming it was a friend because there are certain arguments I won’t have with strangers. Let’s call it a spirited discussion. Your average joe has no idea how very rampant pedophilia is, quoting stats doesn’t help any. I don’t know what the current stats are, I’m guessing there’s ten thousand websites with stats listed, wait, ten thousand news style websites add in the comedic and the titillating and that’s going to triple, easily, and that’s not counting gray and dark web. Of those ten thousand more than three quarters likely disagree on the numbers. Numbers got shit to do with shit. I am not the guy to jack up the average Joe, if he thinks it’s one in a million I’m ok with that. Joe has a lot of other shit to worry about like denying the holocaust and global warming and how a few beers after work with the boys doesn’t make him an alcoholic and he can stop whenever he wants.
Anyhow I was talking to this guy, or rather he was talking to me, some friend of his was being accused of date rape and it was bullshit and the prosecutor said something like one in three women have raped and that’s a stupid number and what about kids and could I refrain from killing a motherfucker for fucking a kid. He took a breath and I said something like the incidence of child abuse is pretty fucking high. And he went into another long thing about how he wasn’t talking about abuse but sex abuse and that can’t be really high.I said it was. He dared me to tell him about it. I refused. He made some angry joke about not counting priests. I quietly said in general every profession has the a similar and significant percent of child abuse. I guess if he said even social workers? I might have punched him.
A plumber who gets arrested for child abuse is not going to be called a plumber, he’s going to be called a pedophile. In general plumbers unions have not pissed off as many people as the Vatican, well, I don’t know, maybe they have, but for as long. I just mean the headline is not going to feature Plumber!The catholic church takes care of their own, the plumbers union probably kicks the guy out at bare minimum. That’s a serious misdirection though. The issue is child abuse, not theology or water pressure.
It was a stupid conversation. His friend was guilty, I mean was found guilty, did something like 18 months. How do I remember that and not the guys name? They are always guilty, sometimes they are found guilty. Once upon a time I thought I could keep score, you know, how you sort of keep a loose running total as you’re shopping and see how close you are at checkout? I guess if you need more food than you have money you might use a calculator. Anyhow it sort of leads to the next bunny hole.
Like Americans soldiers at war in Afghanistan, child abuse is low in the newscycle. We are at war and daily the last taboo of Western Civilization is violated in pink and blue rooms with barbies and GI joes on the shelves. My personal opinion from my personal experience of this, my personal world? The exact same percentage of Evil shit per capita — wait, scratch evil, let me start the sentence again. The amount of nasty rotten ugly shit is constant from the moment we came out of the trees. The shimmy in the sub conscious unity is a fluctuating percentage of not nasty, not rotten not ugly shit trying to balance out. Without interference nature balances. We are not outside of nature, but unlike every either life form on this planet, we can and do wipe out an eco-system to build condos. Sorry, that’s both over and understated. I don’t mean to say eco-system good, condo’s bad. I mean to say we have the tools to tip the scales and whereas we have the tools to right them as well, we don’t.
Child abuse and war are not a nature problem, they are a human problem. Nature sometimes moves a pack of dogs into a kitty cat suburb, but they don’t occupy the suburb until … whatever kind of arbitrary shit we want to keep from killing one another. The dogs don’t hang out until the remaining kitties (what remaining kitties?) accept caninocracy and hold open elections. A dog might eat a deformed and sickly puppy, one way or another nature will reclaim that puppy, but no one is going to fuck the puppy. As a moral issue you aren’t quite sure how you feel about puppy fucking, unless it’s a human doing it and then you think it’s probably wrong or at least not right. Sorry, you have nothing to do with it. I have never seen or heard of either sire or dame fucking their own puppies. Same with dragonflies, penguins, sea turtles. Heh. I ended there just for the rhythm. I’ve never seen or heard of any animal other than man sustaining a war or fucking their young.
I know. You are thinking of puppy mills and the AKC. Yes. The least of their travesties is breeding the same bloodline, the sick thing about is that’s usually what purebred means, at least in the states. The unhealthy thing is breeding in bad genetic traits like hip dysplasia (or, in European royalty of a few centuries back, hemophilia). Even so, the breeding only occurs when of age. Nature balances. Most species aren’t even interested in sex except for the few weeks a year when a bitch is in heat (sorry, I could move away from dogs, but this thing is too long already. Best friend as they might be, they have more in common with every other mammal then they do with us). We, in general, I’m not pointing any fingers, you know who you are, will fuck and shoot anything. Sometimes even in a different order.
Odd that. Let me leave you with this pleasant little thought; who would you rather have a cup of coffee with, a pedophile or a nercrophile? Odds are you’ve had coffee with a pedophile, so yay! You win! Of all the shit we do, how does necrophilia rate so high on the creepy list? Compared to pedophilia it’s damn near victimless, except for the doer who, oddly enough, has more of your sympathy than the pedophile. Sorry again. They have more of my sympathy. In my mind all they’ve done is cement their own pathology. The pedophile fucks up a broad spectrum of people. Um, as long as war was in this ramble, we reward the soldier. I’m not saying that’s wrong to do, I’m just saying war and pedophilia are a couple of our unique traits. But I bet when you celebrate your own uniqueness you leave that part out.
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