The Beginning in Fresh Start...

I decided to start fresh. Life is messy and difficult. You make mistakes and hopefully learn from them. Obviously I’m still learning. My outlook has been at best depressing lately. But I’m trying to move forward. I’m moving ever forward towards my mid 30s and to put it bluntly it sucks. I feel like my career is where it should be but that my personal life is stuck in my early 20s and slowly drowning. Love is way too complicated and means something different to everyone. I have high standards but I wouldn’t say I’m high maintenance. I expect a guy to be an adult and pick up after himself and respect my personal space and the objects in said space. And I would say “Must love Dogs” but really its more like “Must love every animal that I decide to bring home on a whim.” You would be amazed at how hard it is to find a guy who meets this criteria and can hold an intelligent conversation occasionally. I don’t think its all that much to ask, but you tell me…

I just got out of a 2 year relationship. The exit was extreme, especially for me, and I haven’t yet closed the door completely. Or maybe the door is closed but not locked and there’s also a window open, I’m not sure. Either way, my heart is still healing, or attempting to heal. But despite all the bad, and trust me, there’s a lot of it, I still have some hope left that I didn’t just waste the last 2 years of my life. I may have though. I guess time will tell.

On a lighter note.... its amazing what casual sex with a 25 year old will do for your outlook on life. And even if it didn’t last incredibly long, I’m going to go with the attitude of “I’m just that good” or at least “I’ve still got it” because why not.