My son turned 2 a few weeks ago. I turned 27 and my marriage turned 2 as well. It’s been a stressful life but I’ve been pretty happy the last two years.
I graduated with an associate degree when I was pregnant. I took a semester off when he was born and then took two more off after finding out I had stage 3 thyroid cancer. I figured out post-surgery all you really do after a total thyroidectomy is get fat and wait so I went back to school.
This time I was a little fish in a big pond. I had to be serious. I had to buckle down. We put the kiddo in daycare part time and I took my classes from morning til evening Tuesday/Thursday. Saturday and Sunday I worked 20+ hours to bring in an income and I finished my first semester at a real college exhausted, obese, and with a 4.0 gpa.
This semester we put him in daycare full time and I did a 240 hour internship at a food pantry under the supervision of a social worker I just happened to graduate high school with. It had its ups and down but over all it was an interesting experience.
Bryan and I are still married. We struggle under the pressures of living with my folks and raising an extremely intelligent but also high strung child. Our last trip to Target consisted of Atticus screaming on the floor and me pretending I did not know him but remaining close enough to fend off baby snatchers. Bryan is a committed father and a loyal campion. He is shit at cleaning house, expressing himself, and thinking ahead about anything at all but he wakes up with Atticus and tackles the breakfast fit, the first diaper change fit, and the get dressed fit before I even awake. I would probably just shut myself in the bathroom and slit my wrists if that was the start of my day, I don’t know how he copes. Atticus was completely pleasant until he hit the twos and he is a perfect angel 100% of the time at daycare so much so that they don’t believe me when I tell them about the constant tantrums. My own sister in law didn’t believe me until a well timed FaceTime session revealed his true self.
I quit my job halfway through the semester after 7 days a week of commitments proved to be too much. I never saw Atticus unless I was rocking him to sleep and Bryan was always passed out by the time I got homework done. I don’t know what I’ll do in two weeks when I’ll have literally nothing to do for 4 weeks until summer school.
My latest scan shows the slightest bit of cancer left in one lymph node but it will have to be confirmed by ultrasound and biopsy before removal. I wish I could just do it but insurance is a bitch.
I have gained 100lbs since my total thyroidectomy 2 years ago. I’m at a BMI of 37 which is morbidly obese. Pretty funny for someone who once passed out from malnutrtion. Some of its lack of exercise, some of it poor on the go hurried diet, and a lot of it is a huge cluster fuck of crazy hormone changes and irregularities. I’m still searching for answers on the proper way to treat my PCOS without using birth control. I suspect I may have PMDD or some sort of hormonal thing that mimics it because of my last 3 menstrual cycles (all of them 4-6 months apart and very light) I have lost my damn mind 1-2 weeks before. Seriously. Cops got involved one time and pulling the cancer card got me out of a disorderly conduct charge. When my period finally started it was like I had been freed from a hostage situation. Very disturbing and hard to get any doctor to take it seriously.
So right now I’m on a personal quest to understand what my body is actually going through and what I can do to improve the PMDD, start actually ovulating (crossing fingers for a future second pregnancy) and figure out how to drop some of this weight that seemed to just pop up from nowhere. And survive. And kiss Bryan. And refrain from selling Atticus to gypsies before this terrible two stuff passes.
That felt good. Maybe I’ll do it again soon.
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