This never happens. I have the day off and nothing planned, nothing to do. Except I did offer to meet a new Tinder potential at some point today. I fear that he is even more sad than the Bulldog when we met, simply by his photos, but I’m not 100% sure. One never knows until they meet, right?
Oh that Bulldog. Last night, well early evening (got home from my trip and pretty much went to bed - exhausted), I was playing around on my computer, alternately watching Schitt’s Creek and clicking over to Facebook, when I got a POKE from the Bulldog!
I was actually super happy to see a sign from him, besides the passive-agressive block on Instagram, but didn’t want to appear overly excited and poke him back immediately. I thought I’d play it cool for the rest of the night and then perhaps say hello today at some point, somehow. Not poke him back, per se, because I think that’s dumb. But I’d reach out and say hello, probably via text.
Well, in the middle of the night I woke up because I’d slept too much in the early evening and started clicking around on my phone. Lo and behold, I discovered that the Bulldog has now blocked me on Facebook too!
I suppose that’s absolutely fine, since we are no longer FWBs or whatever the fuck we were, but I thought that we were cool in the friends department and that we’d take some time off to cool down about each other and then go on our merry way - maybe being friends, but certainly cordial on social media, I guess. So this was a weird shock to my system.
Perhaps he’s doing that so I’ll think about him and contact him? Whatever he’s doing, it’s doing a number on me that’s beyond embarrassing and making me obsess. Could that be his goal?
I can’t figure anyone out. Not that I’m supposed to, but I’ve been thinking about what I want in a partner and I keep going back to SexyPants and how much that guy felt like my best, best friend. Granted, he was fucked up, but if I imagine the life I’d like with someone else, it would be like the life I had with him (minus the mentally ill kid, of course).
And see, that’s the thing. There’s always something that’s not right…not right at ALL. SexyPants had some serious demons that I didn’t know about until I did some digging. And the kid thing should have been the flag that made me abort the mission in the first place!
Yes, we are all fucked up to an extent. But I don’t feel like I’m that messed up and I get the idea that the men I meet think that maybe I am. Perhaps they all think that I’m crazy cakes, so they don’t want to dig too deep with me?
I wish that we could read each other immediately - like if we all had a visible aura around ourselves that could be easily seen. Green means GO, Red means run away fast!
But then I guess life would be so tremendously boring.
Regardless, it’s Good Friday, folks. My company rarely takes any holidays off, so I need to start enjoying this bonus day. I’m going to work out and then see what mischief I can get into.
I wonder if I can get out of my Tinder date or if I should just suck it up and see?
We’ll see!
Love,
GS
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