I stepped on my electronic scale just a few minutes ago.
“Lo” it said in little black letters.
Now, I know it was telling me that its battery is on its last legs, but I ignore such warnings. For economy’s sake, I don’t change the battery until it is doorknob dead.
Just to be friendly though, I said “Hello” back to the scale, as I stepped off and then back on, giving the device a second shot at telling me my weight.
The scale, obviously offended that I was ignoring its plea for more energy, spat out a number at least five pounds more than the last time we chatted.
The words with which I ended our conversation are not fit for me to repeat here.

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