Post Op in Normal entries

Fuck you. Why would I type that to you nice people? And the rest of you? Because I can’t say it, it comes out like fluck ewww. How do people do anything with partial dentures? I’m sure they’ll make more sense when I’m out of meds and I can play with them when the stuff underneath isn’t a cross between magma and raw hamburger. By play I mean experiment, not do stupid denture jokes. They are only partial dentures anyhow so stupid dentures jokes would only be a quarter as funny which puts them in the negative range; you could make a giddy tickle monkey frown with them. Denture jokes are like fart jokes, the demographic goes from single digit (age wise) straight to triple digit without stopping in between.

They told me a few things right after the surgery, you know, the one where they insist you have a driver. I’m much more dangerous speaking or listening under the influence. I have an uncanny ability to drive under the influence. No, not bragging and no there aren’t any stupid stories to go with that. I’ve had to make emergency runs in the past, more times than one should have to. Shit, not telling stories don’t work either. I only caught a bit of what they told me after surgery; that’ll happen at post op. What post op I tried saying I’m sure it came out as twat ho pop. Huh. I wasn’t trying to make that sound dirty, there’s a big piece of plastic over my hard palette.

So I called this morning, the answer to what post op was, oh, let me see … hmmmm, how does 1145 work for you? One of the things I really wanted to know was how these things come on and off. The dentist apologized five times as taking them off hurt like hell. I still don’t know how to do them myself. The instructions, in between ‘Sorrys’ were; kind of get a finger nail under one and wiggle it up then do the other side.

He left the nurse to get the bottom ones back on. She took them away three times to adjust. I assume there’s a warrenty on these things. I have to replace them anyhow. I think normal operating conditions don’t have open wounds underneath.

I’m shutting up now.