The most significant things that happened today were unexpected. I think that’s almost always the case, probably always the case but I hate to think in terms of absolutes. That’s not true, I might actually like to think in absolutes, I can’t seem to manage it, it’s even harder than peeing with someone watching, at least in that case gravity and nature eventually take over. It’s more like peeing with a hard on, then even gravity and nature are working against you. Next time a girl bitches about getting the short end of the biology stick (Yeah, doesn’t happen to me very often either) tell her that, the trying to pee with a hard on. It won’t get you any points but I guarantee if the conversation doesn’t end immediately it will get much more interesting for you.
I can write about thinking in absolutes but it’s only wishful thinking. On some level I envy fundamentalists and twenty year service vets. Seems like you’d have to think in absolutes, maybe not, but every member of those groups I’ve ever met thinks in absolutes; absolute good and absolute evil, absolute duty or absolute treason. You would think I’d be an absolute good and evil kind of guy, I’d like to think you’d think if I were I’d have thought it out a bit better than your average fundamentalist (I’m talking Christian or Islam mostly because I’ve never met a fundamentalist from any other religion. It doesn’t mean Orthodox, it means bat-shit literal.)
So yeah, the two things scheduled to happen today happened as expected and were pretty dull, though I tried to spice one up. One was the dental wax impression; three seconds of me biting wax. The other making an appointment with a shrink, that’s the one I tried spicing up, I hadn’t intended to. He was giving directions to his office and used the phrase Michigan turn around, so I asked him where he was from which got a pretty normal paranoid reaction which made me snort a little. I explained how my daughter was the only person I’d ever heard use that phrase, so he admitted out loud and over the phone to me and, I assume, Homeland security, that he was a Canadian. Shhhh.
I got to visit with the GF and my dog, ok, her dog, but we call it mine or ours, when he has gas he’s straight up mine. We were talking about this guy on facebook that arranges reunions for our class and it reminded me of an old friend. I’d like to think I haven’t thought about the old friend in 35 years, but that’s not true. I know that sounds weird, the guy has been dead for 37 years though.
When I was hunted down for the first reunion, some last ass time ago, my fucking mom gave reunion guy my unlisted number, if it’s not one thing it’s your mother, and dude had this list of names of people he couldn’t find. I knew where about six of them were, I told him where three of them were. Then I got mad. The friend who died did it right here, he didn’t go any further from the high school than the three miles to the graveyard. It was just something I thought should have registered. The others whose locations I didn’t reveal were people like me who were hard to find on purpose. I also pointed out that I didn’t graduate with the class of 78, wasn’t even in the lower 48 when the graduation happened. I forget what he mumbled back, it was a long time ago. The idiot truth of it, the idiot high school truth of it was that I was popular and the guy who died in east lansings back yard was not. I guess I wasn’t popular enough where my lack of presence went unnoticed for the last eight months of the school year, but, you know, my name wasn’t pulled from a yearbook, I mean I wasn’t in a yearbook on account of not being there.
There were other significant unexpected events with visit to GF that are none of your business. Hmmmm, I guess there’s one absolute I can pull off, I can enjoy the hell out of the immediate presence with absolute clarity and abandon. No, you shut up. Oh yeah? Make me.
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