2:10 PM
I don’t want to think that one lucid dream was a fluke, I’ll just have to keep on trying because I didn’t have one last night, just a regular non lucid dream. Today I feel really depressed. I figure I used every word in the dictionary to describe it in the past but my heart just hurts, breathing just hurts, thinking just hurts. Mother is still sick. I am doing good with my new Camera, I am in the middle of making a picture-video, its just going to be all of my good pictures on screen 5 seconds each and there will be music, I have enough pictures now to have a 1:15 video but I am going to just keep adding to it, I will post it on here when It is done. the past few days, weather has been great so I was able to go out and get some pics but today the weather is very cold and this weekend it will be cold as well. My birthday is tomorrow, i’ll be turning 20.
I still don’t want to grow up, by the way ---- whenever I add music to my diary it usually has to do with my emotions not anything else. I have started to really question my religious beliefs. I mess up and sin but come back and apologize etc it just goes around in a circle over and over and if it is true you go to hell for just 1 sin I might as well make it a million and head down there a legend. Over the years I have been slowly giving up on it but there is a big part of me that is too afraid to let go. I wish I was an atheist I wish I could let go but I can’t. Worrying about religions hurts me a lot, it just drags me down further yet I cannot let go.
Loading comments...