Second day of the year and no one is dead yet, that’s a good thing. I’ll amend that; no one I know is dead yet, that I know of. That’s a good thing, I mean if I know you, and you’re not lying about being a alive still, which would be a real asshole move so the year is probably better off without your asshole ass in it. I’m not accusing everyone of lying about being alive, you know who you are.
Speaking of lying and assholes, a friend of mine, sort of, I mean I know her well enough where someone would tell me if she died, posted one of those dumbass poster things on face book. It was a picture of a lion and said something like “The truth doesn’t need defending, the truth is a lion and can defend itself.” I said something snarky like “The truth also tears up your furniture and pisses on the carpet.” I meant something snarkier but didn’t know how to make a joke of it. I meant “You are funnier and wiser canned pithy posters. Knock it off, dumbass.”
Yeah, second day of the year and the gild is already off the lilly. Hmmm. Does anyone gild lilies? There’s an old polock joke I used to tell like this; My uncle won a gold medal in the Olympics — pause for really? Or pretty much anything — yeah, he went home and had it bronzed. Bit like gilding a Lilly, no? There’s something about dew on a Lilly but I think it’s a euphemism for peeing. That’d be a half blessing sort of thing; peeing gild.
Whether defended or not the truth is the truth. Sometimes the truth is a weapon. The truth is often cruel, e.g. Do these pants make my ass look fat. Sometimes No is both a kind lie and a half truth, e.g. no, but the pants don’t flatter your fat ass. There is no lion in that common scenario. Truth by omission and lie by omission is like flammable and inflammable, all four can be spelled WTF?
I’m sure I have something to say, I just can’t remember what it is. Tomorrow is another day in paradise and I hope the fuckers who are there get bit by something, not lethal, just itchy and uncomfortable like the rest of us.
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