What Dogs Can Teach in The Taste of Honey

Observing the differences in behavior between Angus and Reilly helps me externalize the feelings of my own anxiety. Angus is pretty chill. Alert but relaxed. He’s attuned to what’s going on but is slow to rile up. Reilly, on the other hand, is highly anxious. He responds, physically, to every move anyone makes. He is constantly on guard and vigilant and highly reactive. It saddens me to see him so hyper aware and so programmed to monitoring and responding to mine and James’s mood. I really believe he was abused or observed abuse. But he is also aggressively affectionate and always all in for play. Complete abandon to fun. And he is an energetic clown. I think he likes making people laugh. Watching him is like watching a physical manifestation of my own anxiety–his vigilance and reactions are an externalization of how my anxiety feels inside me–a watch dog always on duty, ready to jump into reaction, always monitoring, feeling like it has to be on guard to keep the peace, defend what’s precious, control the chaos. And when Reilly slumps down in exhaustion, I know that feeling, too. Circuits fried. Overload. Shut down to reboot. My therapist reminded me today to look for the laughter in any situation. I am prone to seriousness, yet I’ve observed how laughter can completely diffuse a tense situation, turning the explosive energy of anger or rage into showering fireworks of laughter. Learning to see other people’s mistakes, my own failures, uncomfortable situations, or gnawing problems with amusement instead of criticism helps lighten the mood. Humor brings levity and humility to any situation. And, like mindfulness and equanimity, can be cultivated. It’s learning to see things through a different lens. Instead of the critical lens, a lens of amused, relaxed curiosity. Reilly is most relaxed, most open, least guarded when he is playing the clown instead of the sentinel. Lesson: Wag more, bark less.