The weather app on my phone can’t seem to make up it’s mind about the immediate present, it shifts from snow to freezing rain to ice to wintry mix and back again. The house has two more useful apps; windows and doors. Not the OS or the band (according to the band there are pretty little girls in their Hollywood bungalows, they are off by thousands of miles and three time zones. I know where there’s a pretty little girl, um, woman, nearby, but she isn’t in a Hollywood bungalow. ). The doors are wooden rectangles with bits of brass and other metals, and the windows are squarish wooden frames with this see through material made of, um, I think sand and heat, sitting in the frames.
Although not as confident as the phone app the windows are much more decisive, for the last six hours it’s been weird-ass-tiny-hail-sort-of-ing outside. I checked once with the door app and stood like a chicken in the weather and confirmed that it was not snowing, freezing raining, icing or wintry mixing, but was, indeed, weird-ass-tiny-hail-sort-of-ing.
Huh, I said with my lips app. I’ll be damned, I said again just to make sure the lip app wasn’t damn-you-auto-correcting me. Sooner or later the weather is bound to co-operate with the phone if only by the sheer weight of odds.
Up until now it’s been a mild winter which is more the exception than the rule around here, though I wouldn’t call weird-ass-tiny-hail-sort-of-ing the rule either. It’s weird, it looks like someone dumped midget packing peanuts on … everything. Though the phone insists all those things it thinks are happening are going to cause power outages and accidents, I’m not seeing weird ass tiny hail sticking to anything above the ground, like, well, power-lines.
I know, I know, power lines aren’t above ground. Look at you in your fancy twenty first century. Asshole. You try getting packing peanuts to stick to a wire in the air.
Ok, y’all can go back about your business, nothing to see here.
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