Christ it’s the day after, the below bits (below the invisible line)lurked on the desktop shunned from all the reindeer games and other programs which windows 10 insists are apps. The day after Christmas is a sort of purgatory of significance, neither here nor there unless you work retail return counters at a place that sold crap. Then it’s like hell. Call in sick or dead or with the clap. I always found that if a manager starts questioning whether you are really sick that a detailed description of puking and shitting gets cut off and he or she insists you stay home. I’m serious. Retail sales were the only jobs where the managers ever questioned it though. It’s kind of stupid to question a sick call, what do they expect the person to do crumble? “Oh you totally caught me with that clever ‘Really?’ you are so smart, I’ll just come in and work with customers with my shitty attitude compounded by the shame of being caught in a fake sick call.”
Um, today is softer than yesterday, and colder. Winter is almost here, again. It’s softer like pudding with extra cream on top left uncovered on the table overnight. So far it’s been uneventful like a petri dish, you know it’ll be gross when used, but is bland until used.
I talked to my son yesterday and then to my granddaughter for a bit. Hard to have a conversation with a girl you haven’t seen since she was a girl and is now a teenager. The day I can’t make a child laugh is the day I give up trying to make anyone laugh. Teenagers are a much tougher crowd. I’ll have a better handle on it next year, I think I’m going to Oregon in the fall for a wedding. My intentions are to go to Oregon in the fall for a wedding. Not only is ‘Shit Happens’ a beautiful minimalist philosophy but it covers most tenses, it doesn’t cover the future tense quite so well but it does dip it’s toes in the future waters.
I mean the wedding could get cancelled or they could run away to Vegas, Reno, coer d’ alene, or aliens could invade, world war III, Oregon falling into the ocean Or something bad could happen. I mean to me.
Sometime in early Spring I should have a full head of teeth, hopefully in my mouth. It’ll be weird. GF thinks I’ll need 24 hour supervision after surgery. I’m not sure that’s necessary but I don’t argue with gift horses. I am so used to poor impulse control that anticipation is almost kinky. Again, I’m serious. Technically I’ve known here for over forty years, but I don’t think we’ve spent 24 hours in a row together, ever. I don’t think that’s weird and it does add to the intensity of the time together. I mean objectively if someone told me that I’d think it’s weird but that’s like creepy violin music on the TV, it foreshadows weirdness. I just meant to fore and aft shadow longing and desire.
Huh, just got toasty. No not warm, burnt out. Be nice to one another.
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I can’t remember the last time I was here, mid Michigan, and it wasn’t a white Christmas. I’m not talking about big fluffy flakes falling on Christmas day like every version of the Christmas carol (though I only spent two Decembers near London I don’t remember it snowing there at all) Just, you know, snow on the ground in late December.
I know, some folks are having some sort of comedy or tragedy today, some are even having a normal day made more comic or tragic just because today is Christmas, so I won’t put too fine a point on it, just not used to a sunny Christmas in Mid Michigan. Granted I only have the past three years and most of the seventies and sixties to compare it too, reasonably compare it too; a white Christmas is a great rarity in Portland Metro area.
I thought I handled the past few days with good cheer, I didn’t bite anyone for wishing me a merry Christmas, or, praise sweet baby Jesus, a happy fucking holiday. I responded with things like “You Too” and “You got it sister”. No, it’s not that I’m in a bad mood around Christmas, if I’m in a bad mood about any holiday it’s like the fourth of July because it’s motherfucking hot in July and amateurs are blowing shit up. I just don’t like forced cheer. I’m a little stunned to discover I think the stoic Midwestern politeness is more genuine — it’s all a little phony but it razzs me less here. I’m certainly in favor of real cheer.
I guess my little sister is coming up later next week with her boyfriend to catch an MSU game. It had me a little antsy until I heard they weren’t staying here, I was getting exhausted just thinking about cleaning shit up. I’d sort of like to introduce the GF to those two but not in the clusterfuck that is my local family. No, I’m not embarrassed of any of them meeting one another, it’s just they are all much more palatable in small bites. The local BIL used to be a social nightmare, now he’s a social nightmare with some unknown brain rot, they’ve sort of ruled out alzheimers and dementia with lewey bodies, though I don’t know how; as far as I knew both were only diagnosable forensically. Ok, I struggled with that, I wanted to say post humus but at first it looked like squished chick peas and then it looked like they’d kill him for a diagnosis. They are both the type of thing you have to cut the brain open to figure out, unlike a brain tumor which you can see in various medical photo ops.
Taking my mom anywhere is a series of her not wanting anyone to make a fuss and the more of us there are the more fuss is made and the more people are in the way of the walker. My GF and sisters BF are relatively sane and rational people (relative to the nutjobs they are dating), my little sister, however … I love my little sister. I’d like to take the two F’s and sis to dinner.
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