Change of Plans to Not Change Plans in New Beginnings

I decided not to apply to that job posting. More accurately, the job posting was removed before I made any decision one way or another. Even if another position appropriate for me becomes available, I wonder if the risk is worth the potential reward. One of my coworkers used to work for the Atlanta Public School System, and she talked about how corrupt and wasteful the whole organization was. She had examples of people not submitting receipts for their “expenses” and others basically not doing their jobs. Granted, Clarke County is a smaller system, but the eternal pessimist in me can’t help but expect to encounter such problem in a similar organization.

I suppose I’ll be in Atlanta indefinitely. I really want to get out of the city, get away from the traffic and the crowds, and get into some fresh air, starry night skies, and open spaces. Specifically, I want to go back to Athens. Obviously, Athens has all those benefits, but it also has a lot of sentimental value to, which is why I’m fixated on that particular town. If I’m going to make this move, I’m going to do so for the place that means the most to me, and not some random locale.

I worry that I’m being naively nostalgic, not to mention impractical. An old friend named Paul comes to mind. Paul and I both served as RAs at my first junior college. We were actually resident assistants in a special dorm for high school kids who had started college two years early. Obviously, this dorm had a lot more community than the average dorm, and Paul really enjoyed working and living there. After several semesters, Paul finished his associate’s degree and had to transfer to a four year school to finish his degree. Paul didn’t make that transition very smoothly. He hated his new school. He would send me emails about how much he missed MGC and his time in that dorm. After one semester, he decided to transfer back, get his old job, and take what few remaining courses available at MGC that would count towards his bachelor’s degree. I didn’t argue with him, but I wish I been more up front about his misjudgments. I remember thinking, “Paul, this ‘solution’ is just a quick fix. You can stay maybe one or two more semesters, and then you’ll have no choice but to leave. There will be no more classes for you to take. Making this transfer back is just going to cost you more money, and then when you go back to a four year school, you’ll an even more meager budget to live off, and being able to participate in any sort of community you find will be that much harder. More so, have you even tried to find a new place to fit in at your new school? Have you checked out the Catholic Ministry or the drama club (obviously, he was Catholic and enjoyed performing in plays)? If not, there are plenty of other ministries and clubs you could try out. I mean, this is only your first semester. Things will get better, but you have to accept that your time at MGC is over.” In case you’re curious, when Paul left his second time, he didn’t have enough money to keep going to school. Roughly a decade later, he finally reenrolled and finished his bachelor’s degree, but his refusal to make that first transition cost him.

I wonder if I need to take my own advice and accept that my time in Athens is over. Obviously, Paul’s situation isn’t perfectly analogous to mine. Paul was trying to stretch out his time at a place he couldn’t stay at where as I could live in Athens indefinitely with a job suitable to my credentials. Still, I’ve tried to go back so many times to no avail. Maybe Atlanta is where I’m supposed to be even if I’m really exhausted by it.

Although, the Georgia Powerball jackpot is up to $500 million, and I’ve joined my office’s lottery pool. A $305 million cash option divided by 37 participants would leave me with $4.9 million after taxes. I’m not greedy; I’d be happy with that. Drawing two percent would give me a $100k fixed income and leave at least 4% to grow my investments. Maybe my dilemma will be irrelevant as of 11 o’clock tonight.