I posted my last entry from Open Diary as it was interesting for me to read through it when I stumbled across it on my computer; it was interesting to see the contrast between then and now. Yes a lot has happened. Even the contrast between last Christmas and this one.
The past year and a half I have been in two relationships – one fling and this long term relationship that has turned into the one that has defined me. In comparison to the rest of my life the last 2 years I have been acting like a tart! And that is saying something.
I am very grateful to be in relationship that I am in now. It is love, my first love, and she came along when I was aged 34! Everything else does not matter. All those sorry/frustrated/infatuated/heart broken/lonely times were not love. And I deserved better. It took me a long time to make that realisation.
I am excited and scared at the same time about what this New Year brings. It’s not always easy being in a relationship and we have already had a few hiccups in our 7 months. But the ‘L’ word has been mouthed by her (I was damned if I was going to be the first!!!!) and we’ve met each other’s parents.
Will we live together? How will we live together? Am I going to ask her to marry me?
Excited and scared.
Merry Christmas to one and all!
Music listened to during the composition of this post:
‘Feel You’-by Julia Holter
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